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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27824218">Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluefrost1800/pseuds/Bluefrost1800'>Bluefrost1800</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The past is never dead [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon who?, Events of the timeline have been pushed back, Hurt Kurosaki Ichigo, Hurt/Comfort, Ichigo gets a Friend, Kurosaki Ichigo Gets a Hug, Kurosaki Ichigo Needs a Hug, Kurosaki Ichigo-centric, Male-Female Friendship, Maybe - Freeform, My Canon Now Kubo, Other, Past Cannibalism, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Post-Winter War (Bleach), my timeline now, questionable past</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:48:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27824218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluefrost1800/pseuds/Bluefrost1800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurosaki Ichigo was –<em> is </em>– many things, though half of those things are overshadowed and ignored for the other half.</p><p>He is the older brother of two girls, is a high school student, is in the top 10 when it comes to test scores in the entire school, is a protector, and is somewhat of a punk.</p><p>He used to be a (substitute) shinigami, a warrior, a weapon and a visored.</p><p>He is a <strike> sacrifice </strike> martyr.</p><p>There are two or three other things that he used to be<em> (or maybe he still is?)</em>. Things that he is not very proud of having been but had to become to provide for his sisters when his father <strike> refused to</strike> couldn’t.</p><p>Yes, Kurosaki Ichigo is many things, but no matter what, he will always be a magnet – be it for trouble or something else.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurosaki Ichigo &amp; Original Character(s), Kurosaki Ichigo &amp; Original Female Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The past is never dead [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I build bridges with these arms, I will not build a fortress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am cross-posting this story on ff.net under the same name.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dude, that was <em>awesome!</em>”</p><p>Ichigo turns to the sound of the voice, one hand still holding onto the shirt collar of a yakuza, keeping the man up.</p><p>There, at the mouth of the alley, stands a girl his age. With bleached blonde hair, way too much mascara and eyeliner, and an untucked uniform, Kurosaki Ichigo knew that the girl is trouble.</p><p>It was ironic how he, a boy more often than not called a punk for his unnaturally natural orange hair, often scowling, often fighting yakuza and wannabe gangs, could say that.</p><p>“Name's Cherī.” She says, walking over the unconscious men that litter the ground, occasionally skipping over some while wearing heels, until she stands in front of him.</p><p>He stares at her, slightly baffled. “Kurosaki Ichigo.”</p><p>“Nice. Strawberry, rite?” She is grinning, though not cruelly. She appears to be genuinely curious about his name.</p><p>“First protector.” He automatically corrects.</p><p>“Ah, sorry ‘bout that.” She looks around, idly swinging her bookbag. “Who’re ya protectin'?”</p><p>“What?” He drops the man, who groans upon impact.</p><p>“Who’re ya protectin’? Ya said yer a protector, so who're ya protectin'?” Her eyes meet his. She has unnaturally blue eyes.</p><p>He opens his mouth to say the familiar word of <em>“Everyone”</em> before closing it again. He can’t protect everyone, he can’t protect anyone. He is powerless. So, instead, he says, “No one,” and makes his way out of the alley, signifying the end of the conversation.</p><p>Unfortunately, the girl follows. “What’cha mean ‘no one’?”</p><p>He scowls, “I mean ‘no one'. There’s no one I can protect.” <em>Not anymore</em>.</p><p>“’Course there is. Yer protectin' yerself, aren't'cha?” She says this as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p>He stops and looks at her. At this, she continues, “Ya can’t say yer not protectin' anyone when yer protectin' yerself. Ya need ta' protect yerself before ya can protect anyone else.” She says this as though it is a quote she had heard once and remembered it just so she could say it to someone.</p><p>“What if there’s no one else for me to protect?” He asks, not quite sure why he is continuing to talk to this girl.</p><p>“Then ya keep protectin’ yerself 'till ya find someone worth protectin'.” She grins again.</p><p>He blinks. “You have lipstick on your teeth.”</p><hr/><p><br/>Ichigo is half expecting the girl to transfer into his class, just like the shinigami and Shinji had done, but no, she doesn’t appear.</p><p>He crushes the disappointment that arises in his chest when she doesn't.</p><p>It doesn’t matter, he isn’t a shinigami anymore, so it doesn’t make sense for whatever the hell the girl – <em>Cherī</em> – is to seek him out. That portion of his life is over and he needs to accept it. That is in the past.</p><p>(<strike><em>-</em></strike><strike><em>But the past is never dead-</em></strike>)</p><p>Except,</p><p>Except he doesn’t want to.</p><p>He doesn’t want to be powerless. Doesn’t want to watch Inoue, Chad and Ishida run out of class to fight Hollows. Doesn’t want the pitying looks his teacher gives him whenever that happens. Doesn’t want for his sister to sneak out and do whatever she does. Doesn’t want for his father to keep acting like nothing has happened, like Ichigo doesn’t know that he used to be a captain.</p><p>Doesn’t want his <em>friends</em> to pretend like he doesn’t know about Hollows, like he didn’t fight in a fucking <strong><em>war</em></strong>, like he didn't <strong><em>die</em></strong> saving one of them.</p><p>He doesn’t want any of that.</p><p>So what does he do?</p><p>He seeks out the girl that practically screams trouble.</p><hr/><p><br/>It was nearing the end of lunch when he finally finds her.</p><p>She is leaning against a wall, looking at her phone. She doesn’t appear to notice, nor does she appear to expect him.</p><p>“Cherī,” He says, placing himself next to her, arms crossed and glaring at the opposite wall.</p><p>“Oh, hey Ichigo.” She says, turning her head to look at him and closing her phone. “What's up?”</p><p>He shrugs, “Nothing much.”</p><p>They lapse into silence.</p><p>She doesn’t try to start a conversation, she just opens her phone and keeps on scrolling and tapping. He chances a glance and sees that it is a conversation. Something about a guy ghosting the person Cherī is texting after they said ‘I love you'.</p><p>“How are you liking the school?” He asks, wanting to get things over with as quickly as possible.</p><p>“’s alright. How did ya know Ah’m new?”</p><p>“You could say I have a sixth sense for knowing when someone new transfers.” Not quite a lie, but not quite the truth.</p><p>She scrunches up her nose, whether at him or at the text she just received he wasn’t sure. After writing and rewriting her response and sending it does she turn to face him. “Yer friends wit' da teachers, aren’t'cha? That's how ya knew Ah was new.” She smiles, like she just solved the puzzle.</p><p>He snorts rudely. “Please. Like this,” He gestures to his hair, “could ever make the teachers like me.”</p><p>“Eh,” She flaps her hand, “Ya never know. If yer sweet an’ polite an' don’t make any noise during class, da teachers will love ya.”</p><p>“It sounds like you speak from experience.”</p><p>“That’s how Ah used ta’ be in middle school. An’ da first year of high school as well, before we moved, ‘course.”</p><p>“Why did you move?”</p><p>“Ma’ pa got transferred so off we went. What ‘bout ya? Have ya always lived ‘ere?”</p><p>“Yeah, my whole life.”</p><p>“An’ afterwards?”</p><p>“What?” <em>Did she mean Soul Society?</em></p><p>“Ya know, after graduation. Do ya plan on stayin ‘ere or will ya move?”</p><p>“Oh,” He rubs his neck. This was the first time he had to seriously think about what he would do after high school. There was never quite enough time to do that when he was too busy saving the three worlds from a megalomaniac with a God complex. “Not sure.”</p><p>She nods in understanding. “Same. Might take a year off ta' try an' "discover myself".” He got to see her neon coloured nails when she did the air quotes. “But that’s just so ma' parents would get off ma' back.”</p><p>“They’re forcing you to do something?”</p><p>“Not quite. They just want me ta' make an honest livin'. Ma' ma wants me ta’ take over when she retires, an' ma' pa wants me ta' be anythin' but a bartender. Joke’s on ‘im, Ah can just become a stripper!” She laughs at her joke. “Ya know, ‘cuz he says <em>anything</em> but a bartender, so Ah can be a stripper.” She says when he doesn’t laugh.</p><p>“Yeah, I get it.” He is dumbfounded by this girl.</p><p>“Can Ah ask ya sumthin?”</p><p>“Sure?”</p><p>“Where'dja get yer hair done in that colour. Been thinkin' of dyein' mine soon but don’t know any good hairdressers ‘round.”</p><p>Ichigo is surprised to not feel the familiar anger whenever someone assumes his hair is bleached. “It’s natural.”</p><p>She gaps. “Shut up.”</p><p>“It is.” Is that a hint of smugness that he is feeling?</p><p>“No way. Ya lucky bastard!” She laughs, knocking their shoulders. “Ah would kill ta' have hair like that! Instead, Ah'm stuck wit' borin’ black. At least ma' eyes're a light blue.”</p><p>“That’s light blue?” He tilts his head to examine her eyes. Yep, still an intense blue.</p><p>“Yeah, Ah'm just using contacts fer a brighter colour. Not all of us can have orange eyes.”</p><p>“I don’t have orange eyes.”</p><p>She frowns and gets on her tiptoes to see his face. He leans down a bit to help her. “Ah, ma' mistake. Ah guess in da right light they look orange. Or is it amber?” She gets down, eyes looking to the upper left in thought.</p><p>“I think they're similar?”</p><p>She nods. “Yer probably right.”</p><p>It is then that the bell rings, signalling the end of lunch.</p><p>“Anyway, see ya.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>It is only as he is sitting in math class that he realises that he didn’t ask her what she wanted.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Ya always fight before school or is this a coincidence?”</p><p>Ichigo looks up to see Cherī standing in the opening of the alley. Her uniform is tucked in properly today.</p><p>“They made fun of my hair.” He says, as though that was a good excuse for why there were at least five unconscious men the ground. With the way Cherī is nodding, it seems to be.</p><p>“Fuckers need ta' understand that everyone has a different way of expressing themselves. They should also understand that borin’ ol’ black ain’t da only colour in existence.” Something must have caught her eye for she then kneels down. “Ooo, nice knife. Think Ah can keep it?” She holds up the weapon and wow, it really is a nice pocket knife.</p><p>“I don’t see why not.” He shrugs.</p><p>“Nice.” She stands up and pats her skirt. “Let’s go, Ichigo.”</p><p>And what else could he do but follow?</p><hr/><p> </p><p>A whole week passes before Ichigo has had enough.</p><p>Cherī is still acting the way she is, in the way that she is too eccentric – too weird – to be human. They chat during lunch, whenever he manages to find her, mostly about the town (Ichigo), past school (Cherī), and current school (both). He had tried to slip in Hollows and spirits once and she–</p><p>She didn’t even look at him weirdly!</p><p>She just nodded and spoke that what while she doesn’t quite believe in God and the existence of ghosts, strange things did happen without explanation.</p><p>She couldn’t possibly be a shinigami, not with the way she is acting around him – like she doesn’t know of him, doesn’t know of the things he did to save Soul Society.</p><p>She could be a Visored, but Shinji and the others never mentioned the existence of others like them. Or maybe they didn’t know?</p><p>(He tries not to think the way they acted around him when they first met. Unsurprised to see that someone else is like them. He has tried to reason that Geta-bōshi had told them recently about him, but that only brought up the questions of <em>‘Why not sooner? Why not after returning from Soul Society?’</em></p><p>He always stops those trains of thought before they can continue on.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>It was in the past, and should remain buried underneath soil and concrete.</strong> </em>
</p><p><em><strike>-But the past is never dead-</strike></em>)</p><p>Hell, for all he knows she could be a Quincy like Ishida!</p><p>That thought is quickly erased when he compares the two. He even compares Cherī to Ishida's father. Cherī is too... unstuck-up to be a Quincy.</p><p>Just what the hell is she and what does she want?</p><p>“Ya seem ta' be in a bad mood today, sumthing da matter?” The reason for his bad mood asks.</p><p>He grunts, hands shoved deep in his pockets as they walk to school.</p><p>“Did someone make fun of yer hair again? Ah'm surprised that keeps happenin'. People really don’t have a lot goin' on in their lives, do they?”</p><p>He stops and she stops three steps away.</p><p>“Ichigo?”</p><p>“What are you doing here?” He asks, eyeing her warily. Her shirt’s top buttons are undone because of the hot weather.</p><p>“What?” She sounds confused.</p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Ah heard ya da first time. Ah just don’t understand yer question.”</p><p>“On whose orders are you here? Soul Society? Urahara? Shinji?”</p><p>“What?” She squints. “Who're those people? Ya sure yer not mistaking me fer someone else?”</p><p>“Cut the crap, Cherī.” Why was she denying?</p><p>“There ain’t no crap fer me ta' cut. Ah'm genuinely confused ‘ere!”</p><p>“You can’t possibly expect me to believe you. There's no way you're human.”</p><p>“Da hell's <em>that</em> supposed ta' mean?!” She yells, eyes narrowed in a glare. Then, she calms down. “Ya know what? Fine. Yer either playing some kind o' joke on me, which is not funny, or ya have mistaken me fer someone else. So you know what Ah'm gonna do? Ah’m gonna leave, go ta' class, an’ not talk ta' ya until ya have sorted out whatever it is that needs ta' be sorted.” She then turns and walks away.</p><p>And he doesn’t follow.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He doesn’t seek her out during lunch that day.</p><p>He doesn’t see her the following day.</p><p>Nor the next.</p><p>It's as he's laying in bed, the third day of not seeing the girl quickly ticking away, the sound of Karin's footsteps as she sneaks out of the house, that he starts to wonder whether he truly hurt Cherī.</p><p>He tries to argue with himself that she doesn’t seem like the kind of girl that would easily get hurt by mere words, but then his traitorous mind brings up moments of his past and how he would get hurt by name-calling. Moments before and after his mother's death.</p><p>He turns to his side and <em>thinks.</em></p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>Tomorrow</em>, Ichigo thinks to himself, the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by his sister’s footsteps, <em>Tomorrow I will apologize.</em></p><hr/><p><br/>It's only as he wakes up the following day that he remembers that it's a weekend, and he doesn’t know her phone number nor where she lives.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He manages to find her two days later during lunch.</p><p>He is standing near the girls’ bathroom when she exits it. She glances at his face, and whatever she sees there makes her walk past him.</p><p>“Cherī,” He calls out.</p><p>“Ya gonna apologize?”</p><p>He nods, but before he can do so, she speaks again.</p><p>“Lemme make sumthin’ clear. Ah don’t owe ya ma’ friendship, Ichigo, nor do ya owe me yers. Da other day ya really annoyed an' insulted me, an' Ah ain’t gonna pretend that that didn’t happen.”</p><p>He swallows. It was true, Cherī doesn’t owe him anything and he had accused her just because he misses his old norm.</p><p>
  <em>(<strike>-The past should remain buried underneath soil and concrete-</strike>)</em>
</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>She huffs. “Ah accept yer apology, but don’t think Ah'll be forgettin' that anytime soon.” Which is fair.</p><p>“...Ya wanna talk ‘bout it?”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“Whatever set ya off da other day, cuz Ah don’t think it was a joke.” At his silence, she continues, “Ya don’t have ta', ‘course. Ah'm just offerin' a listenin' ear fer yer problems.”</p><p>“...It's,” How could one describe what he had gone through? “...complicated.”</p><p>“Ah, ma' favourite word.” She says sarcastically. “Come on then, tell yer acquaintance Cherī what’s botherin’ ya.”</p><p>“Acquaintance? I thought we were friends?”</p><p>“Ichigo, if we count da days we’ve talked ta' each other – we've barely known each other fer a week an' yer insult certainly didn’t help matters. Ah don’t know about ya, but Ah at least wait until da first month is over ta' call someone a friend.”</p><p>He blinks at that. They certainly had different views on how long it took to become friends.</p><p>“So?” She prompts.</p><p>He leans against the wall and she mimics him. “Like I said, it's complicated.”</p><p>“Ya sure ‘bout that?” He looks at her puzzled.</p><p>“Yes.” Because what he went through was complicated, and not something he could just <em>tell</em> someone.</p><p>“Lemme give ya an example. A friend of mine used ta' date this guy fer, hmmm, 2 years. One day she finds out that he had been cheatin' on ‘er fer a while. An' she asks me, ‘What do Ah do?’. What do ya think?”</p><p>“I think she should have broken up with him.”</p><p>“Simple, ain’t it? Ah tell her that an' she says that she can’t ‘cuz she loved ‘im. Do ya know what word she used ta' describe her situation? Complicated. Did it sound complicated ta' ya? No. And ya know why? It's ‘cuz ya aren’t emotionally invested in da relationship. It’s ‘cuz ya aren’t da one in her place. It's ‘cuz ya had an outsider’s perspective an' could think clearly.”</p><p>The bell rings.</p><p>“Think ‘bout what Ah said. Just ‘cuz it's complicated fer ya, don’t mean it's complicated fer someone else.” She walks away.</p><p>Five steps away, she adds, “An’ sumtimes, ... Sumtimes it's easier ta' tell a stranger yer problems than yer friends ‘cuz the stranger won't gain anythin' from lyin' ta' ya.”</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-The past is never dead-</em> </strike>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(There are bodies buried underneath the soil and concrete.)</em> </strong>
</p><hr/><p>“Yer hair again?” She asks, idly kicking one of the men when they try to get up.</p><p>“Not quite. They got mad I beat up their men who made fun of my hair and decided that I needed to be taught a lesson.”</p><p>She snorts unattractively. “Do ya even like yer hair colour?”</p><p>Once again, Ichigo pauses in though. “...Why do you ask that?”</p><p>“Cause, no offence, but yer hair keeps gettin' ya inta trouble, and ya don’t even seem ta’ appreciate it. If it’s too much then just dye it sumthin' borin'.”</p><p>...It’s not that he hadn’t thought about it, it’s just that it was one of the few connections he had still with his mother. Dyeing it seemed like a betrayal, and felt like giving up and admitting defeat after fighting others about it for so long.</p><p>“Ah, that does sound like a good reason not ta' dye it,” She says when he unintentionally thinks aloud. “But yer missin' ma' point: Are ya happy wit' yer hair? The colour will still appear when ya grow it out, it’ll just be temporarily hidden.”</p><p>He lightly fingers a strand. It was getting longer.</p><p>“I'll think about it.”</p><p>She nods. Neither pleased nor displeased.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Come over this weekend.”</p><p>They are eating lunch in her classroom, in a way celebrating becoming friends after knowing each other for a month. Her classmates occasionally throw them looks that they ignore.</p><p>“Sure. What are we goin' ta' do?”</p><p>He thinks of the box of black hair dye that he got on his last shopping trip with Yuzu two days ago. Yuzu had looked at him questionably but hadn’t said a thing to their family. “I need help with my hair.”</p><p>Cherī raises a brow, not getting the hint.</p><p>“I’m...” He swallows, eyes flickering to the other people in the room. “I’m thinking of trying something new. That thing you talked about a few days ago.”</p><p>It takes a moment longer for her eyes to light up in recognition and understanding. “Sure, where will we meet up?”</p><p>The corner of his lip twitches up.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Yer mom famous or sumthin'?”</p><p>He looks to where she is examining his mother’s poster. “No, my dad got it after she died.”</p><p>She appears to be contemplating something before looking away. “So, where’s yer bathroom? Ah’m not gonna lie, da dye will stain yer bathtub/tiles like a bitch when ya wash it out. Best ya put on some old clothes too.”</p><p>Ichigo nods and leads the way, feeling nervous and calm at the same time.</p><p>Cherī orders him to sit on the edge of the bath, or bring a chair but then there’s a chance that it would be stained so he doesn’t. She starts by brushing his hair and parting it before beginning. “Ya sure ‘bout this, Ichigo?”</p><p>“Yeah.” His tone is breathless, heart thumping hard in his ribcage and something is lodged in his throat.</p><p>“Okay.” Her voice is soft and quiet, though not in comfort. It just is.</p><p>His eyes close, a foreign calmness taking over him as she works on his hair. It isn’t as short as it used to be, but it isn’t as long as he would have guessed it would be after not seeing a hairdresser for nearly a year.</p><p>“An’ now we leave it fer 25mins.” Her voice arouses him from the half-asleep state he had been in. He turns to look at himself in the mirror, but she blocks his view. “Let’s leave that fer later, okay?” Her voice is soft again.</p><p>He swallows thickly and nods. “Okay.”</p><p>They go to his room. They don’t talk, not really, but the silence doesn’t feel suffocating. She looks around the small space, and the thought of how <em>empty</em> his room looks strikes him. There is only the essentials of a bed, a desk with a corkboard over it, and a chair. It doesn’t have any personality.</p><p>But, why does he care what his room looks like to an outsider?</p><p>“Ya got any favourite books?” Cherī asks, done looking around the bare room.</p><p>“Shakespeare.” He answers automatically.</p><p>“He’s good. Don’t know much ‘bout his works, only Romeo an' Juliet an’ that’s just a general idea. Ah like Dracula, an' Dr.Jekyl an' Mr.Hyde. Ya know, books wit' what could be considered a homoerotic undertone nowadays.” She looks at the notes stuck on the board. Most of them are related to school or past commitments so he doesn’t see a problem with her looking.</p><p>“Ya got any relatives? Ah got at least two first cousins an' a bunch of other great aunts an' uncles that ma' parents want me ta' know ‘bout even though Ah only meet ‘em once every five years. Kinda pisses me off when they get annoyed that Ah don’t know any of their names, but that’s what happens when ya barely see someone.”</p><p>He blinks. This was the first time since the first day that she is mentioning family. “Not on my mom’s side, I think. But on my dad's...”</p><p>Did he have relatives in Soul Society? There were quite a few similarities between him and Kūkaku, and Ukitake-taichō had mentioned that he looks like his former lieutenant Shiba Kaien.</p><p>“’s okay ta' not know.” Cherī says. “Family’s confusin' sumtimes, an' it doesn’t help when they keep secrets, or don't bother mentionin' important stuff.”</p><p>She was right. His father had kept the fact that he was a shinigami from him, what’s one more secret?</p><p>“Time ta' wash yer hair. Ya need help wit' that?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>She doesn’t smile, nor does she frown. “Okay.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He doesn’t like how he looks.</p><p>No...</p><p>He <strong>hates</strong> how he looks. He looks way too similar to Kūkaku, with his sharp chin and eyes.</p><p>He looks way too similar to them.</p><p>
  <em>What was one more secret?</em>
</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-The past is never dead. It’s just buried underneath soil and concrete-</em> </strike>
</p><p>“Ichigo,” Cherī calls, brown brows furrowed in concern. “Are ya okay?”</p><p><em>No</em>. “Yeah.” He croaks. He clears his throat and tries again. “Yeah, just getting used to the new look.” He tries to smile but it must have come out as a grimace with the way she frowns.</p><p>“Okay. Ya got a dark hat or sumthin'?”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“’Cuz we're goin' ta' da store an' we're gonna buy ya a new dye.”</p><p>“This one is fine.”</p><p>“No, it ain't.” Her voice is a touch harder. “It’s makin' ya sad an' that’s da opposite of what we were aimin’ fer.”</p><p>“Cherī–“ He tries but is cut off.</p><p>“There's nothin’ wrong wit’ not likin' how ya look. Nothin' wrong wit' not likin’ black.” She says, and for a single moment, it feels as though she is talking about something else, like she knows what his inner tumour is about. “Let’s go get ya a new colour, Ichi.”</p><p>He nods, and chokes out an “Okay.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They're at one of the shops on the main street.</p><p>The first thing that greets them when they enter is hair dyes on one side of the aisle and deodorants on the other. Ichigo browses through the ‘natural’ colours first before going to the more ‘fun' – as Cherī calls them – ones. </p><p> All the colours of the rainbow were here: red, green, blue, purple, yellow and orange, along with a couple of other colours, each having different shades from lighter to darker. </p><p>“When Ah first started dyeing ma' hair,” Cherī says, picking up a box and examining it. “Ah did it in ma' favourite colour – purple. Months later, Ah found out that if Ah planned on continuin' ta' dye ma’ hair fun colours, da colours would need ta' be ones that can easily be turned inta the next. Fer example: Ya dye yer hair blue, few months pass and ya want a new colour, yer either gonna havta bleach it or yer gettin' it done in green. Understand?” She places two bleaching kits in the basket.</p><p>Ichigo nods, examining the colours. His eyes stray towards the blue dyes, specifically the one that reminds him of Grimmjow.</p><p>He swallows.</p><p>Several months have passed since he had last seen the Espada; how would he react if he were to see him now – powerless and alone?</p><p><em>Well</em>, he glances at Cherī as she compares two different shades of pink, <em>not quite alone.</em></p><p>“Do ya like blue?” She asks, both boxes securely placed in the basket.</p><p>“Yeah,” He wets his lips. “I do.” It feels like he is confessing a sin by saying those words and thinking about his enemy. Were they even enemies now?</p><p>“Then get it.” She doesn’t reach for the box, preferring to wait for him to do it.</p><p>“It will clash with my complexion.” He argues weakly. Raising two girls since he was nine forced him to dive into fashion and learn the rules: body types, complexions, colour schemes and such. There were many other things he had to learn and do while his father was in mourning to survive but now was not the time to think about the past.</p><p>“So? This ain’t a fashion statement, Ichi. It's about makin' ya feel good an' happy. But... if ya want a more autumn colour we can get red.” She reaches for the box and he grabs her wrist.</p><p>“No, not red.” Red reminds him of Renji, who reminds him of Rukia. Neither has bothered to visit him the months following Aizen's defeat. The excuse of him being unable to see them wouldn’t fly, not when he knew Urahara keeps gigais in his shop.</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-There are bodies in the soil-</em> </strike>
</p><p>“Okay.” She says, slowly pulling her hand away. “Not red then. Bad memories?”</p><p>He winces, releasing her wrist to rub at his neck. “It’s... complicated.”</p><p>The girl huffs, “What does it remind ya of?”</p><p>He meant to say, <em>“Nothing”.</em> He wanted to say, <em>“Renji”.</em> Hell, he could have said nothing and she would have accepted his silence as an answer. Which is why he is so surprised when the word leaves his mouth without his permission.</p><p>“Blood.”</p><p>And it is true. The shade she was reaching for also reminds him of blood. It makes him remember the wound he had been inflicted in Hueco Mundo, where he quite literally died and was dead for a while, long enough for his inner Hollow to take control and battle the cuatro Espada Ulquiorra and win, before he managed to wrestle back control of his body. It also reminds him of the markings on his hollow mask.</p><p>Cherī looks surprised – not mortified, just... surprised. “Okay,” She repeats. “Not red.”</p><p>She’s examining the colours, searching for one that would fit his complexion, when he reaches forward and plucks the blue, <strong><em>Baby Blue</em></strong>, one and puts it in the basket. She doesn’t question him, doesn’t even indicate to have seen him do it but he knows she saw him and he appreciates her silence.</p><p>“What ‘bout green?”</p><p>His first thought is <em>Ulquiorra</em> with his acid green eyes, marble skin, and black <em>black</em> bat wings that carry him over the sands of Hueco Mundo.</p><p>His second is <em>Nelliel</em>.</p><p> “I like it.” He picks a turquoise shade called <strong><em>Mermaid</em></strong>.</p><p>“Pink?”</p><p>He likes pink, he's worn it often enough when he was younger and his sisters wanted to dress him up, but...</p><p>“No, not today.”</p><p>“Bad memories?”</p><p>He thinks of Yachiru, the girl with what he would describe bubblegum pink – even if that shade is called <strong><em>Cupcake</em></strong> here – hair and the man whose shoulder she would ride on.</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>She nods, then juts her chin violently towards a reddish-pink colour named <strong><em>Love Letter.</em></strong> “What ‘bout that?”</p><p>The colour is nice so he gets it.</p><p>They continue on like that for a while, choosing and comparing colours – some of which repeat since Cherī also likes them – until the basket is overflowing. As a final colour Cherī chooses <strong><em>Snow</em></strong> – a pure white colour that reminded him of his inner Hollow's hair.</p><p>There's so much hair dye that he wonders whether he would ever be able to use each at least once.</p><p>The cashier is baffled by the amount but remains silent while she rings them up. It's as the numbers climb higher and higher that he begins to worry, given that he hadn’t brought that much money. But before he can open his mouth Cherī is already handing her credit card with a, “Could you also add one strawberry and one cherry flavoured chapstick? Thank you.”</p><p>He turns to look at her in bafflement. This was the first time he hears her speak ‘properly’ and it honestly unnerves him.</p><p>“Not ev'ryone can understan’ me, Ichi.” She says, handing him one of the bags.</p><p>They make their way to his house, talking about which colour they should do first. Cherī wants to see him in <strong><em>Love Letter</em></strong> or <strong><em>Milan</em></strong> – a light yellow colour that reminds him of an éclair's filling – but he says that he wants to try <strong><em>Baby Blue</em></strong>. She nods and gives him the strawberry chapstick.</p><p>“Yer lips are chapped.” She says and he accepts it.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>His sisters are home when they arrive. The twins greet Cherī differently – Yuzu with happiness that her brother brought a friend, Karin with suspicion given his history of ‘friends’.</p><p>Cherī greets them with a simple, “Nice ta' meet'cha. Name's Cherī.”</p><p>“Will you be staying over?” Yuzu asks as Karin glares.</p><p>“Nah,” the fake blonde bats her hand as though swiping at an annoying mosquito. “Ma' pa's makin' ribs tonight an’ Ah ain’t missin’ that fer da world.”</p><p>The two blink in surprise and Ichigo uses the opportunity to drag the girl upstairs. Given that it would take more than an hour to get his hair done, they agree to do it the following day. For now, they place the dyes in his closet.</p><p>“What should I tell my family? I'm going to have to take off the hat.” He asks.</p><p>“Rite, here's what ya do. Unless they specifically tell ya ta' take it off, ya don’t do it. If they just ask ya why yer wearing a hat, just shrug.”</p><p>“You want me to lie?” Why is he acting as though he has never lied before?</p><p>“It ain't lying, yer just omitting da truth.”</p><p>He doesn’t know whether that's better or worse.</p><p>
  <em> <strike>-There past is not dead. It's not even past-</strike> </em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Cherī doesn’t stay long after that.</p><p>“Remember,” She says at the gate, voice low as to not be heard. “Don’t take yer hat off unless they specifically ask ya ta'. They can’t accuse ya of lyin’ if ya didn’t go out of yer way ta' mention yer temporary hair colour.”</p><p>“So keep it a secret.”</p><p>She gives him a look. “It ain’t a secret, yer just not mentionin’ it until they ask da necessary questions. Ya can’t live yer life always oversharing, Ichi. Not ev'ryone needs ta’ know yer life story.”</p><p>He wonders what kind of secrets<em> (not secrets – they aren’t secrets if she isn’t asked the correct question to warrant the story)</em> she keeps.</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-Stop overturning the earth unless you're ready to find the bodies there-</em> </strike>
</p><p>“Okay.” He says.</p><p>“Okay.” She repeats and leaves.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>No one asks about the hat.</p><p>Not his sisters, nor his father. But that doesn’t stop him from feeling anxious the entire time, waiting for the question to appear just as he's starting to relax.</p><p>Even after dinner is over and he's ready for bed, he doesn’t take the hat off; scared that come morning his father would learn when he inevitably wakes him up with his customary flying kick.</p><p>It's somewhat uncomfortable sleeping with it but he doesn’t care, he's been through worse things than wearing a hat to bed.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Cherī arrives mid-morning.</p><p>His father is at the clinic and his sisters are out, each doing their own thing<em> (Karin is probably hunting hollows with his</em> friends).</p><p>“Hey,” She greets, voice soft and quiet in the morning as though afraid of waking someone up.</p><p>“Hey,” He returns, voice just as soft though not quiet.</p><p>“Ready ta' get rid of that awful colour?” She gives him a small smile, like it is a secret that only the two of them know – and it is, but not for long.</p><p>“Yeah,” His voice is once again breathless and her smile widens.</p><p>“Let's go then.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>It takes nearly three hours but when it’s done Ichigo stands in front of the mirror with hair nearly the same colour as Grimmjow's.</p><p>He stares at himself, running fingers through slightly damp hair, not quite managing to wrap his mind around the fact that his hair <em>isn't</em> orange.</p><p>“Do ya like it?” Cherī asks some minutes later.</p><p>“Yeah,” He exhales, bobbing his head. “I do.”</p><p>“Good... It suits ya.”</p><p>He snorts. “No, it doesn’t.”</p><p>“Ah ain’t talkin’ ‘bout colour scheme, Ichi.” He looks at her reflection, unwilling to pull his gaze away from the mirror. She has her arms crossed under her chest, an intense look in her eyes. “It’s like yer weightless.” She says, then twists her lips and furrows her brows. “It’s like–“ She gestures with a hand at him but he doesn’t understand. “It’s like ya had all this weight on yer shoulders that disappeared the moment ya changed yer hair colour. An' ya have this sort of awed look in yer eyes. Yer beautiful, Ichi.”</p><p>He blushes at her compliment, lightly grumbling, “I’m a man.”</p><p>“An’? Ya saying men can’t be beautiful? Ah mean, yer normally handsome but in this moment yer beautiful.”</p><p>Ichigo's cheeks burn and he looks back at his reflection. It won’t hide his blush, but he chooses to ignore that fact.</p><p>He can’t see what Cherī considers ‘beautiful’ about him. He knows he's handsome, but not beautiful. The two should mean the same thing, each used for their corresponding gender, but the way she said them made it sound like they were two very different things.</p><p>“Thanks,” He says awkwardly. She doesn’t laugh, but she does give him a soft smile.</p><p>“Yer welcome.”</p><p>They stand in silence a while longer, Ichigo admiring his new hair and Cherī watching him with a smile.</p><p>“Would ya like ta’ go out?” She says the words slowly, letting each syllable roll off her tongue just so.</p><p>“Where?” </p><p>“In da park? Ah saw a crêpe stand da other day there, we could grab lunch an' just walk ‘roun.”</p><p>He doesn’t answer immediately. He's nervous for how people will react to his hair, the attention it will draw <em>(he's used to drawing attention, but this will be a different kind).</em> His worry must have appeared on his face for Cherī adds, “We can cover yer hair again if ya want. Ya can keep it a secret ‘till yer ready.”</p><p>“It’s going to be too hot for a hat.” He says but he’s already thinking of the baseball hat he has, stashed away in his closet drawer.</p><p>“An’?” She says, not asks. It’s like she already knows what was going to happen and the conversation is just a formality. He doesn’t feel trapped, not like the other times when something like this has happened with other people. He feels assured in a way. In some weird way, he knows that even if he goes off-script Cherī will just go along with it, supporting his decision, and improvising a new, better script.</p><p>“And I think, ” Ichigo wets his lips, hearth thumping in excitement. “That I won't wear one.” He looks at her, the real her – not the reflection.</p><p>Her smile widens but her eyes are soft. “Okay, but let’s get one just in case it's too sunny.”</p><p>They both know she means something else by that excuse and Ichigo loves how they understand each other on such an intimate level only after knowing each other for over a month.</p><p>And not one fight was involved to reach it.</p><p>He smiles, “Okay.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He gets a chocolate and strawberry crêpe while she gets one with only chocolate. They talk.</p><p>Well, Cherī talks.</p><p>She talks about her past. About moments with friends. About how her classmates and her would cheat on certain tests, how their teacher would even tell them to use their notes during a test just so they don’t get a bad grade. She talks about what she thinks her interests are (she had to explain even she doesn’t know herself that well). Talks about what she likes and what she hates (turns out the girl has a lot of rage in her). Talks about what she heard on the news and how annoying her father is when it comes to cleaning.</p><p>It feels as though they have been friends for years, separated and now meeting up and trying to catch each other up on how their lives are in the limited time they have before going their separate ways again.</p><p>It feels... nice.</p><p>It feels great to finally talk to someone who isn’t tiptoeing around him and the topics of conversation.</p><p>“Gimme yer phone.” She says after finishing her crêpe.</p><p>He fishes it out and gives it to her without thinking. He looks at what she taps, head bumping once, twice, in hers as they walk.</p><p>She hits the call button and her back pocket rings.</p><p><em>It's her number, </em>Ichigo thinks with a quiet sort of awe.</p><p>“An’ now we can call each other at all hours of da day, ” She says, handing it back and pulling out hers to save his number.</p><p>Ichigo looks at the digits and name, trying to burn the information in his mind.</p><p>Someone bumps into him, yelling an apology over their shoulder but not stopping.</p><p>“Someone’s in a hurry.” Cherī drawls, miffed that despise the two of them walking on the side of the path, leaving plenty of room for others to traverse, someone still manages to bump into Ichigo.</p><p>Ichigo looks up to see the familiar figures of Inoue and Chad running ahead. For a moment, he wonders why they’re running before remembering.</p><p>His good mood suddenly disappears.</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-The past is never dead. It’s not even past-</em> </strike>
</p><p>“Hey,” Cherī lightly touches his arm, “Ah’m sure they didn’t mean any harm. They seem ta’ be in a hurry.”</p><p>He nods, eyes still downcast.</p><p>“Let's go ta' da cinema. Ah wanna see what movies will be coming soon, an' we can watch one now if ya want.”</p><p>Ichigo gives her a small smile. “Okay.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“They’ll be showin' <em><strong>The Cat Returns</strong></em> next month?! Ichi, we gotta go!” Cherī says, shaking his arm, eyes wide and mouth open.</p><p>The teen laughs and agrees easily. “Sure. But what movie do you want to watch now?” He looks at the posters. He kinda wants to see <strong><em>Kiki's Delivery Service</em></strong> but would understand if she wants something else.</p><p>“Ooh, definitely not <em><strong>Pom Poko</strong></em>, that movie made me cry when Ah was younger. Wanna watch <strong><em>Kiki</em></strong>? We don’t havta if ya don’t like it.”</p><p>“No, I like it.”</p><p>Ichigo could only imagine how they looked. Two teens with dyed/bleached hairs, looking like they were ready to start a fight, buying tickets to a children’s movie.</p><p><em>But</em>, he looks at Cherī who is gushing about childhood memories of wishing she had her own delivery service like the movie character, <em>that doesn’t really matter, now does it?</em></p><hr/><p> </p><p>After the movie, Ichigo walks Cherī home.</p><p>The entire way they are talking about the movie, happy to have relived a small part of their childhood through it.</p><p>All too soon they reached her house.</p><p>“Ah had fun today, Ichi.” Cherī says, standing with her back to the door.</p><p>He smiles back, and his brain makes the unhelpful connection that this is where the girl kisses the guy in the movies and TV shows.</p><p>“Oi, what's up wit' that face?”</p><p>He shakes his head. “Nothing, brain just made a stupid connection is all.”</p><p>She nods in understanding. “Yeah, Ah know those.” She turns to unlock the door, “Oh, before Ah forget,” She takes out his hat from her handbag and puts it on his head, not quite gently but not quite roughly. “Can’t have ya returnin' home wit' yer secret out.”</p><p>Ichigo rights it as he speaks, “It’s already out.”</p><p>“No, it ain't. Just ‘cuz ya walked around town with yer hair unhidden doesn’t mean ya havta walk in yer house like that. Not unless yer ready, ‘course.” She smiles softly at him. “Ev’ryone acts differently at home than they do in public. Ya can tell da whole world somethin' yet keep it a secret from yer family if ya think it’s not safe. But like Ah said, it’s up ta' ya if ya want ta' return without da hat on.”</p><p>He nods, fingering the visor. “Okay.”</p><p>She smiles and walks inside.</p><p>Ichigo turns and walks home, hat still on his head.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The following morning he is woken up by knocking on his bedroom door.</p><p>“Come in?” It comes out as more of a question than an order. His father never knocks, Yuzu knocks thrice softly, and Karin just yells.</p><p>His answer appears in the form of one... Cherī. He seriously didn’t know her surname? How?</p><p>“Mornin',” She says, padding into his room. “Scoot over.”</p><p>“Why?” He asks, already doing what she said.</p><p>“’Cuz,” She plops onto his mattress, trying hard not to let her face touch his pillowcase. “Ah woke up early ta' get ‘ere.”</p><p><em>“Why?”</em> He covers the lower portion of her body with his blanket, making sure that not a centimetre of skin could be seen.</p><p>“Get ready an' Ah'll tell ya.” She stretches like a cat, eyes already closed for a short nap.</p><p>He huffs but leaves for the bathroom, stopping to tell his father that a friend was in his room. He didn’t want her getting hurt just because of his norm.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, Ichigo returns to find that Cherī had covered her entire body and was sleeping with her head angled so that his sheets wouldn’t get dirtied by her makeup. She was also wearing a beanie, stuffed full with her hair. He almost feels bad waking her up.</p><p>Almost.</p><p>“Wake up, Cherī.” He shakes her shoulder and she groans, swatting and kicking.</p><p>“’n‘min’t.” She mumbles.</p><p>“We have school, and this is my bed.”</p><p>She cracks one eye open. She wasn’t wearing her contacts today. They were a blue so light it reminded him of ice.</p><p> “<strong>Our</strong> bed.” She says in a tone meant to be a correction.</p><p>Ichigo blinks. “No.” He tugs the blanket free from her grasp. “Come one, Yuzu made an extra plate of breakfast for you.”</p><p>“Ugh, fiiiine.” She finally stumbles out of bed.</p><p>The two make their way downstairs, bookbags in hand and hats on heads. His dad is overdramatic as always and starts bawling at his mother's poster. Cherī shoots Isshin curious and nervous looks. Yuzu and Karin are polite in their own way.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They're two blocks away from his home when Cherī says, “Hey, Ichi. Look.” When he gives her his undivided attention, she takes off the beanie. His jaw drops as she runs her finger through her dyed hair. “Sweet, right? It's <em><strong>Love Letter.</strong></em>” Her eyes are sparkling in the morning light, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.</p><p>Ichigo says nothing, just blinks. It takes a few moments longer for his mouth to start working and ask, “Why?”</p><p>She shrugs, “Ah’ve told ya, haven't Ah? Ah've been thinkin’ of dyein' ma' hair fer a while now. Now seems like a good time.” She aims to bump their shoulders but given the fact she's 5’1” with heels and he's 5’9”, she ends up bumping his shoulder with her head and shoulder checking his arm. “It just happens for me ta' dye ma' hair da same day we dyed yers. An' Ah'm sad ta’ say that any attention ya get at school, yer gonna havta share.” She says this in a mockingly sympathetic tone.</p><p>He snorts, eyes still not leaving her hair. He reaches out a hand and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. She has a small black heart earring.</p><p>“We'll be making quite the impression when we get there.” He says, taking off his own hat and running his fingers through the blue locks.</p><p>“Damn rite we will.” She growls. “An' we're gonna own it.”</p><p>Ichigo laughs at that.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They certainly made heads turn when they pass the gate. He pays them little mind, too busy listening to Cherī explain how there was no way Jonathan Harker wasn’t at least a little interested in Dracula. She also goes on to explain that Henry Jekyll definitely had a crush on his friend Gabriel John Utterson, and that crush was transferred to Mr. Hyde. She then praised the amazing pun of, "If he be Mr. Hyde, I shall be Mr. Seek." Which <em>is</em> an amazing pun.</p><p>Before he knows it, they have reached his classroom. He sits on his chair and Cherī sits on his desk, bending and laying her right leg on the surface, not at all bothered by her skirt.</p><p>“Ichigo!” Keigo loudly greets, throwing himself at the teen.</p><p>Ichigo allows himself to be tackled. That is enough for the brunette to jump back in surprise. His eyes then fall on Cherī who is looking at them curiously.</p><p>“Ichigo,” Tatsuki says, eyeing his hair. “You’ve changed your hair.”</p><p>He shrugs, a touch amused by their surprise. “Decided that it was time for me to change it. She,” He juts a thumb at the girl sitting on his desk, “Helped.”</p><p>The ravenette eyes Cherī, suspicion clear in her eyes. “Arisawa Tatsuki.”</p><p>“Akao Cherī.” She chirps back. So that’s her surname.</p><p>“So, what brings you here, Cherī?” Tatsuki asks.</p><p>“Please call me Akao.” The girl retorts. “I’m explaining to Ichigo the homoerotic undertones in Frankenstein, and how Victor was the reason his whole life burned down. Not because of the creature he created, but because he was too scared to own up to it. The moment it was given life, Victor fled his laboratory, naïvely thinking that it would leave him be, and afterwards started blaming it for the misfortune that struck his life when he himself was to blame.”</p><p>There she goes speaking understandably. But she did make a good argument on Frankenstein.</p><p>Tatsuki blinks, turning to face him with a questioning gaze.</p><p>Ichigo straightens and says, “But how was he to know what was going to happen? Victor didn’t expect for the creature to murder.”</p><p>“Yes, but he never actually does anything about it. He only moans and whines about the misfortune. When Justine is accused of murder, instead of making up a believable lie about how he had unintentionally made an enemy who had sworn to kill his family or something like that to save Justine, he just says she's innocent and fucks off. He never takes responsibly for his actions, preferring to blame the creature he had created out of the desire to show that breathing life into a corpse was possible.”</p><p>He nods, “True.”</p><p>“Well, time for me ta' go.” She jumps off his desk, bypassing his friends and desks for the door. “See ya at lunch, Ichi.” She calls, waving goodbye.</p><p>“See you later.” He calls back.</p><p>The moment she is out of sight, Keigo turns to him with a wail. “Ichigo! How could you!? You've been keeping a babe like her to yourself only!”</p><p>Ichigo glares, “Don’t you dare talk about Cherī like that!” He growls, more venom in his voice than intended. Keigo immediately stops at that, looking a touch scared. Ichigo sighs, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”</p><p>“You’re awfully protective of her.” Tatsuki states.</p><p>“Well, yeah.” Because how could he not be?</p><p>“How long have you known her? I haven’t seen her around before.”</p><p>The now bluenette leans back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling in thought. “Nearly two months.”</p><p>“Two months? And we're only learning about her now?” Her brows are nearly touching her hairline.</p><p>He shrugs, “She’s in a different class.”</p><p>Tatsuki purses her lips but doesn’t say anything.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He is only slightly surprised when Ishida pulls him aside and demands what ‘that' is. ‘That' being his hair.</p><p>He blinks, “There isn’t a rule about hair being dyed.” He doesn’t think there is. His natural hair is more often than not assumed dyed and the teachers never made a huge deal out of it – other than thinking that he's a punk.</p><p>Ishida huffs and frowns, clear displeasure on his face but that is a common expression for the Quincy so he pays it no mind. What he does pay mind to is that this is the first conversation that they have had since late January, around the time his friends decided that they couldn’t hold a normal conversation with him that did not involve hollows and the best course of action would be to cut ties.</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-Never dead-</em> </strike>
</p><p>“If this is all there is, class president, I would like to return to my desk.” Ichigo turns and leaves, not even waiting to be dismissed.</p><p>“What was that all about?” Keigo asks.</p><p>He shrugs, more upset than expected, and gestures to his hair. The brunette makes a noise of understanding and returns to copying Tatsuki's math homework. Ichigo sits still for a moment before pulling out his phone and texting Cherī.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Me: Hey.</strong> </em>
</p><p>He hits sent before he could rethink.</p><p>The answer is almost immediate.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Cherry: Hey, what's up?</strong> </em>
</p><p>He pauses for a moment, thinking of how to phrase his problem(s) before giving up and just writing.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Me: My friend who has not spoken to me since January just pulled me aside to nag about my hair.</strong> </em>
</p><p>It takes a moment longer for her to reply.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Cherry: Are you close with them? The fact that you added the last time you spoke with them makes it sound like you either had a falling out and/or don’t consider them a friend.</em> </strong>
</p><p>He stares at the text. He and Ishida are friends. He thinks. They just hadn’t ‘hung out' in a while.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Me: I do.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Me: Consider them a friend, I mean.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Cherry: But are you close to them?</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Cherry: Or do you see yourself being friends with them just because you have mutual friends and not because you have common interests?</em> </strong>
</p><p>Ichigo taps a fingernail on the desk.</p><p>They didn’t <em>exactly</em> have a ‘falling out'. More along the lines of ‘not having anything in common now'. Does that stop them from being friends? He and Keigo are friends, and they don’t have anything in common.</p><p>Shit, did they have something in common?</p><p>He glances at the brunette, now writing more hurriedly. Ichigo can’t think of anything from the top of his head. But there must be something.</p><p>His phone vibrates.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Cherry: You don’t have to answer if it’s complicated. My advice is to not pay him any mind unless he starts shit.</em> </strong>
</p><p>He laughs quietly.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Me: I thought you hated that word?</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Cherry: I literally asked you whether you were friends with someone and you hesitated. That's a different kind of complicated, Ichi.</strong> </em>
</p><p>He stares. And then writes without thinking.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Me: It's not different. They're connected.</em> </strong>
</p><p>He waits, gripping his phone hard. Finally, she answers.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Cherry: Like I said, I'm not going to force you to speak. I'm only reminding you that I'm here if you need a listening ear.</em> </strong>
</p><p>He lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Glancing at the door, he writes.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Me: I would like that.</em> </strong>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Next is Inoue.</p><p>It's two days after his confrontation with Ishida when she pulls him aside after he puts his bag on his desk. There are a handful of minutes until class starts so the conversation won’t be long.</p><p>“Kurosaki-kun,” She starts, eyes wide and sad.</p><p>A shot of annoyance runs through him when she says his name and he knows the reason for it. Ichigo has heard her repeat his name more times in an hour than anybody else has in their life. It has come to the point where his stomach would roll if she says it twice in two minutes.</p><p>“Yes?” He asks as politely as he can.</p><p>“Kurosaki-kun, ” <em>oh boy,</em> “Is something wrong?”</p><p>“No.” His answer is short and clip.</p><p>The girl frowns harder, eyes flickering to his hair. “Are you sure?”</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-Stop overturning the earth unless you’re ready to find the bodies-</em> </strike>
</p><p>“What is this about, Inoue?” He lets some of his tiredness and annoyance bleed through.</p><p>She cowers, “It’s just–“</p><p>“Ichi!” The familiar voice of Cherī immediately calms him. He feels her wrap her arms around his waist and slips something in his pocket. “Listen, Ah think Ah placed ma' phone in yer bag by accident when we were rushin’ in da mornin’. Mind bringin' it ta' me? Ah'll keep yer friend company.” She winks when he looks at her.</p><p>He is a little suspicious but nods and goes to his desk, hands shoved in his pockets. While he may not know what the girl is playing at, that doesn’t mean he won’t play along. He makes sure to angle his body in such a way that pulling the phone and placing it in the bag won't be obvious, and pretends to have a hard time finding it, going as far as to pull out all of his textbooks. Once he ‘finds' it, he leisurely makes his way out of the classroom.</p><p>Ichigo blinks when he re-joins them.</p><p>Cherī looks quite pleased with herself, giving Inoue a not quite nice smile. Inoue, on the other hand, looks close to tears, backed up against the wall.</p><p>“Your phone.” He says.</p><p>Cherī grins up at him. “Thanks, Ichi.” She looks back at Inoue. “It was nice talkin’ ta' ya, Inoue. Be sure ta’ remember ma' words, ‘kay?” Giving the bluenette a last wink, she skips away.</p><p>He waits until she's rounded the corner before turning his attention to the orangette. Now that he thinks about it, why did only he get in trouble for having orange hair? “What was it that you wanted to talk about again?”</p><p>Inoue flinches, looking down the hall as though expecting Cherī to return. “Nothing, Kurosaki-kun.” She looks at him with those kicked puppy eyes before returning to her seat.</p><p>He watches her for a moment before sending a text.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Me: Thanks.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Cherry: No problem.</em> </strong>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>It's June 16th, and Ichigo is laying on his bed.</p><p>He doesn’t feel as bad as the previous years, not after learning the truth about his mother's death, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel awful for letting it happen at all.</p><p>“What’s gotten ya in a mood?” Cherī's voice fishes him out of the memories he was diving in. He looks up to see her standing with a dark orange nail polish bag near his bed.</p><p>“Hey.” He sits up, running a hand through his hair.</p><p>“Hey, yaself. Ya still haven’t answered ma' question. What's gotten ya in a mood? Is it that Inoue chick?”</p><p>“No,” Inoue hasn’t so much as looked at his direction. Tatsuki, on the other hand, has made her displeasure of whatever Cherī had done to her friend very vocal, much to his displeasure.</p><p>“Then what is it? Or are ya tired an' want a break from people? ‘Cuz Ah can leave if ya want.”</p><p>“No,” He says softly but too quickly. He swallows, trying to wet his throat, and says, “I promised you could paint my nails, and that’s what we're going to do.”</p><p>She frowns and sits next to him, close enough for their tights to touch. “Ichigo,” She says his name as though it's a sound that is made when one exhales, “Ah don’t care 'bout any stupid promises. If yer feeling down, Ah ain’t gonna force ya inta doin’ anythin'.” She lets her words hang in the air for a moment before continuing in a gentle voice, “Can ya tell me what's da matter? Maybe Ah can help.”</p><p>He presses his lips in a thin line, barely debating whether to share before saying, “It’s my mother's anniversary.”</p><p>“Oh, Ichi,” Cherī wraps a hand around his waist, pulling him close to her. “Ma' condolences.”</p><p>He twists and presses his face to her hair. It smells like mango.</p><p>She squeezes him once, “Would ya like me ta' stay or leave?”</p><p>He squeezes her back, “Please stay.” His voice doesn’t shake, the pain and grief have dulled enough over the years for that to not happen, even if it feels as though it should.</p><p>“Of course,” She murmurs, tightening her hold on him.</p><p>They don’t separate. Only withdrawing a little – still holding onto each other – for Cherī to throw a leg on Ichigo's other side before drawing back in.</p><p>At that moment, Ichigo almost feels happy for losing his powers if it meant meeting Cherī.</p><p>Almost.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They're at his mother’s grave. Ichigo tries to stay focused but finds himself too busy looking at his nails.</p><p>Cherī had given him a French manicure. He had been somewhat surprised, having expected the neon colours that would surely make him spottable from a mile away, but she had said that she didn’t want anyone to give him trouble for wearing nail polish so she chose colours that one would need to look twice to notice.</p><p>It was thoughtful.</p><p>Even though she had seen him beat up people larger than him, she still wanted to make the polish as unnoticeable as possible.</p><p>He is brought back to the present when goat-face announces that they are going back. It wasn’t unusual for Ichigo to stay back a while longer.</p><p>As his family walks away, he faces the grave.</p><p>“Hey, mom,” Ichigo starts and falls silent. He thinks for a moment before scraping the half-formed plan with topics he wanted to talk about and just saying, “I made a new friend. She's pretty interesting. Her name's Cherī and I only recently found out her surname. I like her. She moved here with her parents, helped me dye my hair, and surprised me when she dyed hers as well.” He pauses. “I think you might have liked her, but who knows.”</p><p>He could stay here longer, like previous years, but he thinks about Cherī who had said that she would treat him to ramen and decides that maybe it is okay to leave earlier than usual.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Hey, Ichigo,”</p><p>The bluenette looks up from his homework. They had agreed to do their work at the Cherī's place with the possibility of him staying for dinner.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Are ya free da period startin' from da last week of July ‘till da first two-three weeks of August?” She asks after a moment of hesitation.</p><p>Ichigo leans back and thinks. As far as he knew, he was free. Those weeks were during summer vacation so there wasn’t any school. And if he wasn’t mistaken, Karin didn’t have any soccer matches for him to cheer and watch<em> (did she even attend soccer practice anymore?)</em>.</p><p>“Yeah, I think so. Why?”</p><p>She hesitates again and his gaze sharpens. What did she need? Was she trouble?</p><p>“Ya see,” She starts, then stops and starts again. “Before ya answer, Ah want ya ta' know that ma and pa have no problem with ya joining me, so don’t start worryin’ an' thinkin’ Ah'm doin’ this behind their backs.”</p><p>“Cherī–“</p><p>“What Ah mean,” She continues, “Ma’ parents an' me always go ta' da beach fer 3 weeks, but since pa just got transferred ‘ere, we won’t be able ta' go there an’ that’d be a real shame ‘cuz we already paid fer the house. So Ah told ma an' pa that Ah could go there, an’ then Ah thought ‘bout ya an' asked them if ya can come an' they said ‘yes'.” She inhales deeply after saying all of that in one breath. “What Ah'm askin' is: Do ya want ta' come ta' da beach with me fer three weeks?”</p><p>Ichigo blinks. “You’re asking me... now? There's still time until then.”</p><p>The girl huffs, “Ah’m askin' ya now so that ya can have enough time ta' think ‘bout it, make up yer mind, change yer mind, think ‘bout it again and change yer mind again. Three weeks is a long time, Ichigo. Ya need ta' be sure ‘bout yer decision. Ah mean, not that Ah wouldn’t drive ya back if ya change yer mind, but still, Ah don’t want ya ta' feel bad if ya change yer decision.”</p><p>“Huh. And how long do I have to make up my mind?”</p><p>“Literally ‘till da day Ah leave. Which iiiissss,” She checks her phone's calendar. “28th July.”</p><p>“That’s the day you leave?”</p><p>“Yeah, Ah'm thinkin’ ‘round 6-ish?”</p><p>The teen falls silent, thinking about the offer. He didn’t really have anything to do during that time anyway, so what was the harm?</p><p>
  <em>What about Yuzu and Karin?</em>
</p><p>They are old enough to care for themselves and each other. It's not like this will be the first time he had left them alone. True, he did leave them with Kon in his body, but it’s not like it will be any different. So why not? Why not indulge in this trip. It’s not like anyone will miss him.</p><p>
  <em>It’s not like anyone will miss him.</em>
</p><p>“What should I bring?”</p><p>It takes her a moment to answer, intent on finishing the math equation first. “Clothes, obviously. Just so ya know, there’s a washin’ machine an' a drier there so don’t think ‘bout bringin’ yer entire closet, unless ya wanna, Ah mean. ID. Oh!” She jumps back, “Ah know a guy that makes fake IDs. We can get ya one.”</p><p>He should feel surprised that she knows someone in that sort of business, and he is, but not entirely. He blames it on her looks.</p><p>“Why would I need a fake ID?”</p><p>“Well, there are a lot of clubs there. We can go ta' one if ya want.” She smiles. “An’ ya never know when ya will need one.”</p><p>Ichigo frowns, but doesn’t disagree. He's lived long enough to know that such a thing could be useful.</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-There are bodies underneath the soil and concrete-</em> </strike>
</p><p>“And this person. Are they trustworthy?” He asks because one can never be too sure.</p><p>Cherī gives him a smile. It's one part amusement, another part sharpness and final part the smile she had given Inoue. Her eyes, ice blue, hold a certain kind of cruelty that he has seen before at least four times. Mayuri, Nnoitra, Aizen, and...</p><p>He shakes his head.</p><p>The past was in the past and should remain buried underneath soil and concrete.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Her voice brings him back from the memories that are trying to dig themselves out. “They’re trustworthy enough.”</p><p>He nods once and turns his attention back to his half-finished homework.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Cherī's parents are both what he had expected and yet not quite.</p><p>At first glance, it looks like the girl takes more after her mother than her father.</p><p>Her mother, Nagi, has rainbow dyed hair (even though it is a duller colour) and wore casual formal clothes. She has a small face, narrow nose, large dark brown eyes, a small narrow chin, and a wide mouth with a thin upper lip. Her physic is of a woman that goes to the gym at least three times a week, or one that runs nearly every day. He could also spot three piercings on her left ear.</p><p>Her father, Haru, has black hair and wore scrubs. He has a more round face, with a slightly wide nose, narrow light blue eyes, and downward-turned lips. He also looks like someone that keeps a close eye on his health – and if his assumption for the man's job is correct, then there is a good reason.</p><p>It certainly looks like Cherī takes after her mother, but then her father opens his mouth and Ichigo realizes that the girl is a mix of both.</p><p>“So yer Ichigo! Cherī's told us so much ‘bout ya!” The man says, a wide grin that practically screams Cherī on his lips.</p><p>“It's a pleasure to meet you.” The mother says.</p><p>“The pleasure is all mine.” Ichigo says, shaking the offered hand.</p><p>They separate. Cherī and Haru go to prepare dinner and the table – he tries to offer help but is shut down before the sentence can even leave his mouth – while he and Nagi go converse in the living room.</p><p>“So how's school?” Nagi asks, picking a neutral topic.</p><p>“It’s fine. The students have started getting rowdy about the upcoming summer vacation, and festivals.” He says, giving the woman a polite smile.</p><p>She nods and they fall silent. Just like Cherī, she doesn’t try to fill the air with idle chit-chat.</p><p>“If I may ask,” Ichigo starts. “What is your career?”</p><p>Nagi smiles. “I am the CEO of Foxy Books.”</p><p>Once again, Ichigo is surprised by an Akao.</p><p>While not a major publishing firm, Foxy Books is still up there. It is-yet-kinda-isn’t-exactly an ‘all genre' kind of firm, most people aren’t even sure what genre they prefer. What is more notable about them is that they made consultations and even offer other firms that are sure to publish the books that they don’t. And it wasn’t firms that are going bankrupt or small and barely known ones – well, some were – but actual successful ones, ones that are sure to catch the reader’s eye.</p><p>Nagi laughs. “Let me guess, I don’t strike you as the ‘Move, I am a big important person. Secretary, bring me a coffee, fire that person, move my meetings to whenever-the-fuck-I-want.’” Her voice had gone rough at the impression.</p><p>“...Kinda?”</p><p>She laughs again. “It’s because of the hair, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes.” His answer causes her to burst into laughter.</p><p>“Dinner’s ready!” Cherī's voice carries over her mother’s loud laugh. “What’cha laughin’ ‘bout?”</p><p>“I told Ichigo what my job is!” Nagi yells, not bothering to stand up until she got control over her laughter.</p><p>“Ha!” Cherī laughs.</p><p>“What's so funny?” Haru asks from the kitchen.</p><p>“Ma told Ichi what her job is!”</p><p>“Ohh! Ah wanted ta' see that!”</p><p>Ichigo finds himself in the middle of some sort of inside joke to the Akao family. Seeing his confusion, Nagi manages to squeak out between giggles. “It’s because people's reactions range from outright denial to confusion to easy acceptance. We prefer denial because the faces they make are hilarious.”</p><p>He nods, and for a single moment, the family reminds him of Geta-bōshi. He shakes his head, ignoring the pang of longing and the twist of his guts.</p><p>“Ah think that's ‘nuff chit-chat fer now.” Haru says, and the bluenette realizes that they were looking at him with worry-filled eyes. He shouldn’t feel defensive and insulted, not when those kind of eyes weren't from pity, not when Cherī had worn them enough times for him to feel comfort. But he does. He feels as though they see him as weak and defenceless, and he <strong>hates</strong> it.</p><p>“Hey,” Cherī's voice draws his attention. “We didn’t mean ta' insult ya, Ichi. Ah apologize if we came off as cruel.”</p><p>“We’re sorry if we insulted you in any way.” Nagi says softly, the same way Cherī did when she dyed his hair.</p><p>He closes his eyes and nods, trying to reign in those unfair feelings. “It’s okay.” He says but Cherī must have heard something in his voice for she frowns.</p><p>“No, it ain't.” She says the words with that stubborn tilt of her head, the same one she had worn the other day when Chad had come their way during lunch. The two hadn’t spoken, but the taller teen had left with tense shoulders and a frown.</p><p>“It's <strong>okay</strong>,” He repeats, a little harsher, a little louder. “The past is in the past and should remain buried underneath soil and concrete.”</p><p>The family stops at the words.</p><p>They all look at him in a new light, though maybe not the kind one would expect.</p><p>The mother smiles a smile that is equal parts understanding and pain. Her eyes, on the other hand, burn with anger not directed at him. “It is,” She says quietly. “And we should stop overturning the earth before we find the bodies that shouldn't be buried there.”</p><p>His breath catches in his throat and turns into a lump.</p><p>Ichigo looks at Nagi in the same light the family looked at him. He tries several times to speak, but the lump prevents his voice from escaping. Finally, he croaks out, “You...” but doesn’t finish the sentence. Doesn’t know <em>how</em> to finish the sentence.</p><p>But his voice isn’t necessarily.</p><p>Not when she understands him the same way Cherī does. “The past is never dead. It's not even past.” She says it like a chant, like a mantra, like a quote said so often that it is a being of its own.</p><p>Ichigo,...</p><p>Ichigo <em>chokes</em>.</p><p>
  <strike> <em>-The past is never dead-</em> </strike>
</p><p>Tears are running down his cheeks as he croaks out unintelligible sounds, but the Akao family finds meaning in those sounds for they gather around and wrap their arms around him as he sobs.</p><p>“Oh, <em>little heart</em>.” Nagi breaths out and the teen cries harder. It had been so long since he had been referred to as that.  “What has happened to you in these six years?” She asks but doesn’t expect an answer. She just holds him tightly as he sobs. “Oh, little heart. Who has pierced your heart the same way our teeth pierce the skin of an apple? Tell us and blood shall rain.”</p><p>The words bring back memories of blood and flesh, of warm embraces and kisses from stained red lips.</p><p>They are a promise he finds comfort in.</p><p>“I can't.” He sobs. “I <em>can't</em> tell you.”</p><p>He wants to. God, he wants to spill his soul to their willing ears, but he is too afraid. Too afraid of what would happen – what the shinigami, Geta-bōshoi, would do if they found out.</p><p>“Then give us hints.” Haru rumbles next to his ear. Soft lips press against Ichigo's temple and Nagi mirrors the action. “Give us hints an' look away.”</p><p>At that, Cherī lifts her head from where she had placed it against his collarbone. Gently, <em>oh so gently</em>, she grasps his face, wiping away tears with her thumbs.</p><p>“<em>Ichigo</em>,” She says it like a prayer. “Look at me.”</p><p>He looks at her, choking on his tears.</p><p>“Was it Inoue?” His breath hitches, but her face doesn’t change, only her eyes. Eyes that while the wrong colour have that familiar sharpness and cruelty from years ago. “Ishida? Sado?” She gets the same reactions for those names, and he sobs harder.</p><p>“Don’t–“ Ichigo chokes out. “Don’t hurt them.”</p><p>“But they hurt you.” Nagi croons in his ear, the sound comforting yet cruel.</p><p>“They didn’t.” He says desperately, then repeats. “<em>They</em> didn’t.”</p><p>“<strong>Oh</strong>.” The woman says.</p><p>Cherī tilts his head up to meet hers. “They may have not hurt ya in da past, but they are hurtin' ya now.” She presses a kiss to his forehead. “An' Ah can’t stand that.”</p><p>“Cherī–“</p><p>“Ah won't.” She cuts him off, tilting her head so that her brightly coloured hair curtains around them. “Ah would never do such a thing in front of ya.” Another kiss to his forehead. “Trust me. <em>Please</em>.” The plea was said in such a desperate tone that he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her waist.</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>They stay like that for a while. Two adults and a child wrapped around a <em>broken child</em>. Because no matter what the Shinigami may say, he is nothing but a broken child secretly holding onto fragments of the past.</p><p>And for once, Ichigo doesn’t hate that he is vulnerable and weak. Not when he is in <em>their</em> embrace.</p><p>
  <em>The past is never dead. It's not even past.</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ichigo stays the night.</p><p>After having a rather late dinner, Nagi and Haru agreed that he shouldn’t leave when it's so late at night.</p><p>He doesn’t protest. He barely even remembers to sent Yuzu a text.</p><p>Somehow, he ends up spending the night in Cherī's room.</p><p>Her room is messy and chaotic and he <em>loves</em> it.</p><p>It tells him a little about his friend – from the cat pictures and cartoon pony drawings taped to the walls, to the chair covered in clothes that she hastily turns around, to the messy desk covered in notebooks, papers, coloured pens, nail polish bottles, and a glass with a lipstick mark.</p><p>He loves all of it, and he loves her.</p><p>Haru lends him a t-shirt and shorts that would usually reach one's knees, but given the fact that Ichigo's 5’9” and Haru's 5’1”, everything is slightly short on him.</p><p>Huh.</p><p>Now that he thinks about it, they're all shorter than him.</p><p>“You're all shorter than me.” He announces, settling in the bed.</p><p>“Well, yeah.” Cherī says, turning off the light and making her way using her phone. “Ev’ryone in ma' family is short compared ta' ya.”</p><p>“Huh.” He says because he can’t think of anything else. “And you’re not mad?”</p><p>Ichigo can't see her face but he assumes she is giving him a funny look. “Why would Ah be mad ‘bout that? It's genetic.”</p><p>“Huh.” He repeats.</p><p>Several minutes pass before a tentative voice breaks the silence.</p><p>“Ichi,” Cherī softly murmurs.</p><p>“Yeah?” He answers just as softly.</p><p>“Can Ah cuddle wit' ya?”</p><p>He doesn’t answer immediately.</p><p>“It’s okay if ya don’t wanna.” She adds after what feels like a minute has passed.</p><p>“...No, I want to.” He says because even though years have passed, he misses cuddling with his sisters.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>They shift to their sides. Ichigo’s back touching Cherī's front and her arms wrapping around his waist. He feels her sigh between his shoulder blades and allows himself to relax.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ichigo dreams of bright lights, bloody knives, and faceless bodies missing chunks of flesh.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Put your head on my shoulder, hold me in your arms, baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurosaki Ichigo can easily admit that he is not perfect. He's only human <em><strike>(now)</strike></em> after all. So it’s only natural that he desires things that are seen as wrong, or illegal.</p><p>“I want a fake ID.”</p><p>Cherī chews and swallows the spoonful of cereal. “Sure. We will need a photo of ya from before Ah dyed yer hair.”</p><p>Ichigo furrows his brows. “I don’t think I have one?”</p><p>“Do ya have one where yer facin’ forward? It doesn’t matter if yer wit' someone else in it.”</p><p>He thinks again and has a distinct feeling of having taken a photo with Rukia once. It either exists or he is imagining it.</p><p>“I'll see what I can find.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The bluenette is looking through the bookcase for the latest album. He ignores the ones that he is certain are filled with photos of a happier time <em>(a time when his mother was still <strong>alive</strong>, still breathing and laughing and moving and not laying still over him with a wound caused by a hollow that he is respon-)</em> and manages to find a few loose photos that no one had come around to placing in an album. Amongst them is a photo of him and Rukia standing in front of an ice rink.</p><p>He examines the photo.</p><p>He can’t quite remember what had happened that day, nor could he remember <em>when</em> exactly they had gone ice skating. What he <em>can</em> remember is helping Rukia keep her balance – he finds it ironic that she is incapable of skating when her zanpakutō is an ice nature one – and skating with friends.</p><p>They... look happy.</p><p>He checks through the other photos, picking another four where he is facing forward, and leaves the house.</p><p>Ichigo ignores the gaping hole that seems to have widened when he was examining the photos.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Do ya have a preferred date fer yer birthday?” Cherī asks.</p><p>“No, you can choose whichever date you want.”</p><p>“’Kay.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Tell me a name ya hate.”</p><p>He looks up from his bento. She stares back.</p><p>“I don’t think I hate any name.”</p><p>She frowns. It looks like she is frowning at least. It always looks like she is frowning when her smile is missing.</p><p>“Then who do ya hate?”</p><p>He leans back in the chair. Faces and names flicker through his head, but not one stays longer than a moment.</p><p>The pinkette huffs. “Anyone that hurt ya?”</p><p>Slowly shaking his head, he proceeds to eat his lunch. “No one.” His eyes meet hers when he feels her gaze harden.</p><p>“That,” She rudely points at him with her chopsticks, “Is a dirty lie.”</p><p>He doesn’t say anything, but his silence is an answer in on itself.</p><p>They're silent a while longer, letting Cherī's classmates’ conversations fill in the silence between them.</p><p>A handful of minutes before the bell is to ring, the girl asks, “Who were ya told is yer enemy?”</p><p>The question is phrased incorrectly, but he answers all the same. “Aizen Sōsuke.”</p><p>She nods once, sharply. He doesn’t see as his back is facing her.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Here,” She hands him a paper.</p><p>“What’s this for?” He skims the page. On it are names of professors with their characteristics and classes they teach.</p><p>“Well, since we will need ta’ be over 20 ta' enter some bars – an’ they check ya – it has been decided ta' make ya a uni student. This is a list of professors who have “taught” ya. Things have been gettin’ a bit tight ova der, but nothin’ we can’t work our way ‘round.”</p><p>“So you need me to memorize this entire page?”</p><p>“No, only some basics. Yer a tired uni student who finally has da break he deserves after workin' tirelessly ta’ get his Bachelor’s degree. It’s understandable if ya forget da names of yer professors.”</p><p> “You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”</p><p>“We don’t half-ass things. If we do, we will get caught, an' if we get caught – a lot more people will get caught. An' that’s sumthin' we don’t want. It might be unnecessary, but it’s best ta’ be safe than sorry.”</p><p>His mind flashes back to when he was nine and working with <em>her</em>. <em>Her</em> and <em>them</em>. And all of those too close calls they had because of him.<br/>Ichigo understands completely what Cherī means.</p><p>“When will the ID be done?”</p><p>She shrugs. “Can’t really say. Hopefully, before we leave.”</p><hr/><p>Before he knows it, it’s the last week of school before summer vacation. It's also his birthday, but he ignores that part.</p><p>“Come over tomorrow.” Cherī says before shoving food in her mouth.</p><p>He readily agrees given the fact that the Akao household is practically his second home.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They're celebrating a birthday.</p><p>It must be noted that it is not his birthday that they are celebrating.</p><p>“Whose birthday are we celebrating?” He asks after swallowing since, apparently, the responsibility of having manners falls onto him.</p><p>“Uncle Francis.” His friend answers, cheek bulging with the food that she has shoved into the space so that she may answer him. She looks like a cute pink chipmunk with those bulging cheeks. A cute pink chipmunk that a bit a batchmate's finger so hard the skin almost broke. It was the guy's fault. She warned him to not shove his finger in her face.</p><p>“He's in America.” Says Nagi, whose mouth is also full, though she does cover herself when she speaks.</p><p>“He’s my brother!” Supplies Haru, and the only reason his mouth isn’t full is because he was drinking beer.</p><p>A small cake is later brought out and neatly cut into four pieces because it is agreed that they all will have <em>one</em> piece of cake.</p><p>He falls asleep like a kitten, his chest used as a pillow by Cherī.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The following morning, he considers moving at least half of his clothes in Cherī's closet and dresser. Might throw in some personal items as well.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The cinema is full of young children and middle schoolers.</p><p>“Ohh, this is so excitin'!” Cherī says, eyes on the screen even though nothing is projected.</p><p>“It is,” He agrees, snagging some popcorn as he observes the people that are slowly finding their seats.</p><p>“Oi, ain’t that yer sisters?” His eyes flicker to where she is pointing, and quickly slumps in his seat, dragging his body down.</p><p>“Don't let them see me!” He hisses.</p><p>Cherī, like the good friend she is, drapes her jacket over him. “Ah’ll tell ya when they turn da lights off.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The movie, as expected, is great.</p><p>The two are gushing about the heroin and Baron, about the prince and Yuki, and about the cat kingdom.</p><p>“Man,” She places her arms behind her head, looking up at the night sky. “Ah wish Ah could live like a cat. Ma' life would be worry-free then!”</p><p>Ichigo smiles at her, “But it won’t be worry-free. You'll have to worry about food, shelter, dogs and cars.”</p><p>She pouts, “Then Ah wish Ah was a house cat! One of those spoiled rotten ones at that!” She grins, “Ah would have medium to long hair an' a fluffy tail. What ‘bout ya? How do ya think ya would look as a cat?”</p><p>He hums, “I would be orange,” He smiles when he hears her snort. “And... I think I would have short hair?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah. And I would definitely be a stray.”</p><p>“Not wit' me ‘round ya won't.”</p><p>“Then I will be the one to spoil you rotten.”</p><p>The walk back is peaceful and quiet.</p><p>Ichigo likes it, and hopes that it will remain that way for a while.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Are ya ready?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>They wave goodbye to Nagi and Haru as Cherī drives away. Legally speaking, the girl is a year too young to drive a car, but she seems familiar with everything so he doesn’t worry. He just makes himself comfortable in his seat while she fiddles with the radio.</p><p>He looks out the window. The sun is rising over the horizon, waving them goodbye as they leave the city behind.<em> “Stay safe.”</em> Ichigo imagines it saying. <em>“Don’t drink too much! Or get in trouble!”</em> The teen doesn’t promise anything because that would make him a dirty liar.</p><p>An hour later, he says, “Huh. I forgot to tell my family that I will be gone for three weeks.”</p><p>Cherī cackles and Ichigo tries to hold back a smile.</p><p>He fails.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The house they park in front of has – a what Ichigo thinks is – a modern western design.</p><p>He turns when Cherī clears her throat, an arm resting on the small of her back, looking as though she is about to try and sell the house to him.</p><p>“This stunning, private home is surrounded by a beautiful garden and opens up into a ravishing backyard that is complete with a large pool and a cool outdoor lounge. While the exterior of the house is draped in wood, the interior has a more modern appeal, with concrete and glass being used in a balanced fashion.” She says all of this like a real estate agent (she's even dressed like one). She leads him around the building, making a full circle while pointing at the pool, garden and exterior.</p><p>“Step inside, and one sees the addition of quirky patterns, colourful shelves and dynamic wallpaper, which give the home a cheerful, inimitable style of its own. Spread across two luxurious levels, the entrance of the home opens up into a simple atrium that organically leads into the living room.” The walls are white, the sofas and armchairs are black, and red is used for shelves.</p><p>“Adjoining the living room on the lower level is a beautiful dining space that is illuminated by the iconic Caboche Chandelier, and the Arco-style floor lamp in the living room adds to the elegance of the space. The living area is visually connected with the large deck outdoors, while a modern kitchen, gaming room and utility space are located on the opposite side of this floor.”</p><p>They make their way to the second floor.</p><p>“Nestled on the top floor is the luxurious master suite, the colourful children’s room and additional guest spaces. A fabulous media room and laundry complete this elegant and creative home that surprises you with creative design solutions, unexpected pops of colour and lavish decor additions.” She leads him through each colourful room. “Combining architecture with a hint of playfulness and imaginative design, the house has a style of its own!”</p><p>When the tour of the house is done, she looks at him expectantly.</p><p>The only thing he can say is, “How loaded <em>are</em> you?” That, of course, makes her laugh. “No, I'm serious. I get that your mom is the CEO of a publishing firm and that your dad is a doctor, but this house <em>cannot</em> be cheap! And for <em>three weeks!”</em></p><p>When she is done laughing at him, she answers, “’Kay, so here's da thing. Pretty much ma' whole family is rich in some way. Ya see, this house,” She taps her foot. “Belongs ta' ma' maternal grandpa's ex-wife.”</p><p>He furrows his brows, “I thought you said you paid for it?”</p><p>She nods, “An' we did. She rents it.”</p><p>“Wait. So you have to pay her for it?”</p><p>“Well, yeah. Just ‘cuz we're family don’t mean we do freebies. It's <strong><em>3 weeks</em></strong>, Ichi. Do ya know how much money that is? It's a lot. There ain't no way she would ever willingly lose that much cash just ‘cuz we're family. I mean, she does give us a discount, but it's around 15%.”</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>They stand in silence for a minute, before Cherī claps her hands to disperse the mood. “Anyway, come help me wit' da luggage.”</p><hr/><p>“Oh, before Ah forget,” The girl rummages through her handbag for a moment before handing him two palm-sized rectangles. On closer inspection,  they turn out to be a driver's license and an ID. They look authentic but he doesn’t know enough about fakes to judge. “While we're ‘ere we will be usin' our fake identities. Ma' name's Asaoka Cherī, I am 23 and have a Bachelor of Arts and am currently studying to become a translator.” Halfway through, she drops her dialect.</p><p>“You are Aizen Ichigo,” He glanced down to confirm that it was indeed his new name. “Given your background, we decided to give you a Bachelor of Medicine and working towards getting a Masters and Doctorate. Hope you don’t mind.”</p><p>He shakes his head. “No, it’s fine.”</p><p>“Now, some might ask how we met, so here’s the story: We studied in the same high school and decided to pursue our ambitions in the same uni. Simple and believable.”</p><p>“One question tho.” He holds up the documents. “Aizen. Really?”</p><p>She shrugs. “I asked you who you were told to hate the most and you answered. I don’t know the story, Ichi, and will not force you to tell me unless you’re ready, but you seem to have memories of this guy who might – from my point of view, and with my very limited knowledge – come off as bad. And those memories will sour the names Aizen and Sōsuke. So for us to sweeten them, what better way than using one of them as your own?”</p><hr/><p>The first three days they spend going to the beach in the morning, swimming in the pool in the afternoon, and dining, as well as sightseeing, in the evening.</p><p>On Wednesday, after dinner, they go out.</p><p>The bar is small.</p><p>There are two – possibly three – rooms. The first (main) one is where the bar is, along with four booths. The room is small and narrow. The second one is bigger with two large tables, and the third room only has a billiard table.</p><p>Ichigo isn’t sure <em>how</em> popular the place is, given that it is nestled in an alley that is not really near the main street and doesn’t really look like a bar but it’s still running so there must be quite a few loyal customers.</p><p>They also get carded. He tries not to appear nervous, and succeeds thanks to his permanent scowl.</p><p>“Since you’re still a virgin when it comes to alcohol, we'll start with cocktails. That okay with you?”</p><p>He shrugs. “Fine by me. You choose.”</p><p>His starting drink is a Cassis Orange, which tastes more like orange juice than alcohol. That is apparently the whole point. A drink served for those who have trouble drinking the harder stuff, or complete newbies like him.</p><p>Cherī gets a Fuzzy Navel and sucks on the orange slice that comes with it. She makes a face, “How can one dislike yet like the taste of an orange?”</p><p>Unsure of whether that is a legitimate question or not, he just shrugs.</p><p>They mostly talk, engaging with the bartender (a friendly middle-aged woman), and drink. He tries Cherī's drinks, and at one point swaps with her. </p><p><em>This is nice,</em> he thinks as he sips his fifth cocktail.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>On Friday, they go to a club. It's big, dark, loud and crowded. There is also a bouncer outside with an impressive set of arms and a really handsome face with a scar that starts from his chin and ends at the corner of his mouth. His face is indifferent as he checked their IDs. Ichigo thinks he didn’t seriously check them given the fact that he only glances at them, not long enough to spot anything unusual.</p><p> The two manage to elbow their way to the bar and order some drinks. Cherī orders a whiskey with coke, while he orders something fruity.<br/>“Ok, so here’s the thing.” She says, completely pressing herself to his side, lips too close to his ear. “As you can see there is a dance floor and people are using it. Never. And I repeat. <strong>Never</strong> leave your drink unattended. I'm sure you know why.”</p><p>He nods.</p><p>“If you want to dance, that’s fine by me. This night is about us. No school. No shitty friends. The past and real world do not exist here. Got it?”</p><p>Ichigo laughs. “Got it.”</p><p>Cherī pats him on the back. “Do you want to dance?”</p><p>He looks at the dance floor where bodies are moving and pressing against each other as though trying to become one.</p><p>“Not now.” He looks at her. “Do you want to dance?”</p><p>Her face scrunches up. “At the moment? Nah. Maybe when I'm tipsy enough not to care about my awful dance moves and the floor has cleared up a bit.”</p><p>He cracks a grin, bumping their shoulders. “You can’t be <em>that</em> bad.”</p><p>“Oh, I'm worse than <em>that</em>. Which is why I need to unsober myself enough for others to say ‘Oh, the reason she dances like an old blind dog that is currently having a seizure is because she is drunk’.”</p><p>Ichigo chokes on his drink.</p><p>Cherī smirks. “You have permission to laugh, it’s funny.”</p><p>He covers his face, but his hands do little to muffle his laugh. He's not even drunk yet!</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Three drinks later, Cherī makes her way to the dance floor.</p><p>Less than half a minute later, Ichigo is wincing. She really <em>is</em> worse than bad.</p><p>“That girl is either very drunk, or very brave.” A voice says next to him.</p><p>Ichigo looks to see that a man has taken the vacant seat next to him.</p><p>“Or she just wants to have fun and doesn’t care what other people think of her.” He says, even though it’s partly a lie.</p><p>The man laughs. He has a nice laugh. He also has pretty brown eyes. Aaanndd his lips are moving.</p><p>“Pardon?” The bluenette snaps his attention back to the conversation he is apparently having with the handsome stranger.</p><p>“Hino Taiga. That's my name.” Hino says, an amused smile on his lips.</p><p>“Ichigo.” He says, and he should really stop staring at Hino's lips. It’s rude.</p><p>“Just Ichigo?” Hino raises an eyebrow with a slit.</p><p>“Ku–Aizen.” He manages to catch himself. “My name is Aizen Ichigo but I prefer Ichigo.”</p><p>He thinks he hears Hino hum. “Ichigo.” He rolls the teen's name over his tongue, making heat pool in his stomach. Does the alcohol disagree with him?</p><p>“I don’t think I've seen you around here, Ichigo.” Hino sips his drink. It looks like whiskey?</p><p>“I'm only here for summer vacation.” He checks on Cherī, and quickly looks away before he suffers any second-hand embarrassment.</p><p>“Summer vacay?” Hino asks. He then looks him up and down. “Are you even old enough to be here?”</p><p>“I’m in uni.” Ichigo deadpans.</p><p>The brunette shrugs shamelessly. “You look pretty young to me.”</p><p>He rolls his eyes, huffing in displeasure. “Thanks. I get that a lot.” He gets to hear that nice laugh again.</p><p>“How old are you?”</p><p>“23. You?”</p><p>“28, 29 this October.”</p><p>Ichigo feels his face heat up. That’s a 6-year difference. 12 if he uses his real age.</p><p>“So,” He sees Hino lean forward a bit. “How long will you be staying here?”</p><p>Just as he is about to answer, Cherī appears next to him. “Who's your friend, Ichi?”</p><p>Ichigo feels a slight displeasure at his friend's interruption which he ignores. There's no reason for him to feel that way.</p><p>“Cherī, Hino Taiga. Hino, Asaoka Cherī.” He introduces.</p><p>“There’s no need for you to call me Hino when I call you Ichigo.” Hi–Taiga says, once again smiling at him. Is anyone else feeling hot?</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Taiga.” Cherī says.</p><p>“Pleasure is all mine. I have to say, those were some killer moves you did.”</p><p>The pinkette laughs. “Please, I don’t see any dead body around here. Maybe at the next song.”</p><p>“After that, I don’t think anyone will be willing to stare at you long enough to die from second-hand embarrassment.” Ichigo says, sipping his Daiquiri. He pulls a face at the sourness.</p><p>Cherī laughs. “Dang, really? And here I was hoping that this summer would be interesting.”</p><p>“You were hoping for murder?” Taiga inquires, both brows raised and grinning.</p><p>“Hey, do you understand how powerful I would be if I can kill people with just my dancing? No one would dare to mess with me then.”</p><p>The two share a laugh.</p><p>Ichigo watches them laugh and converse.</p><p><em>I want it to always be like this,</em> he thinks to himself, idly listening to the current song.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I like that you're broken</em> </strong>
  <br/>
  <strong> <em>Broken like me</em> </strong>
  <br/>
  <strong> <em>Maybe that makes me a fool</em> </strong>
  <br/>
  <strong> <em>I like that you're lonely</em> </strong>
  <br/>
  <strong> <em>Lonely like me</em> </strong>
  <br/>
  <strong> <em>I could be lonely with you</em> </strong>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They leave sometime after midnight but before two.</p><p>As Cherī is paying their tab, Taiga presses a napkin with his phone number scribbled on it into Ichigo's hand. “If you ever want to be shown around. I know some really good cafes around here.” He winks.</p><p>Ichigo, like the virgin he is, flushes beet red. Thankfully, Cherī drags him away before he could do anything embarrassing.</p><p>On their way to the house, the girl says, “So, Taiga.” She wiggles her brows.</p><p>He blushes again and lightly shoves her. “Shut up.” He grumbles. “He was just being nice.”</p><p>“Mmm-hmmm. <em>Sure</em>, nice. And him giving you his number and inviting you to have coffee is him being ‘nice’ again?”</p><p>He draws his shoulders up to his ears. “I don’t wanna have this conversation anymore.”</p><p>Cherī laughs but drops it.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>It takes Ichigo two days to psych himself up to call Taiga. Well, more like a day if he was being honest. The day following their club outing was spent dealing with and recovering from a hangover. Also getting his nails done.</p><p>Cherī had bought two sets of gel nail polish (one with 48 colours and another with 16), a professional electric nail file kit complete with different heads, a nail builder varnish and a nail oven, and wanted him to be her guinea pig.</p><p>He felt classy after having his nails elongated and done in four shades of blue and one white. “No wonder you girls like having your nails done. I feel like a queen.”</p><p>“Just wait fer when Ah learn ta' do <em>designs</em>.”</p><p>“Oh, <em>fuck yes.</em>” He holds his hand away to properly appreciate the manicure. “It’ll be a pain for when I fight, tho.”</p><p>“People still want ta' fight ya?” She has a point there. “If anyone tries, just aim fer da eyes. That or use ‘em like claws.” She mimes clawing and he laughs.</p><p>“Good idea.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Fuck, Cher, I don’t have anything to wear.” Ichigo is staring at his clothes, none of which look appropriate for his coffee meeting with Taiga.</p><p>“Lemme see.” The girl carefully examines the clothes he has thrown haphazardly on the bed. “Okay,” She drawls out. “Ah think Ah can work sumthin’ out. Just turn da iron on.”</p><p>He ends up wearing a white shirt with a stylized cross and words, ripped jeans, and black converse. Cherī even manages to dig out a black vest with three large silver buttons from his suitcase. He's not even sure why he decided to bring it, but he's happy he did.</p><p>“Not too fancy but still not too casual.” Cherī says. “Lemme do yer hair.”</p><p>“It’s fine?” He checks on it in the mirror anyways.</p><p>“It is, but Ah wanna make it look as though it's intentionally messy.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He is dropped off a block away from the café.</p><p>Taiga is waiting for him outside, and, wow, it should be illegal to look that good. He's wearing a maroon shirt that hugs his muscles deliciously and dark jeans that certainly show off his legs.</p><p>The teen takes a moment to collect himself – and let his face cool down – before making his way to the man.</p><p>“Taiga,” He greets. “Thanks for meeting up with me.”</p><p>Taiga smiles and oh fuck there he goes blushing again.</p><p>“No problem. I was quite happy when you agreed to meet up with me.” He nods to the door. “Shall we go in?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He watches Taiga turn and <em>oh God, that ass!</em></p><p>“You coming?”</p><p>His head snaps up, squeaking, “Y-yeah. Right behind you!” Mentally cursing himself, the teen follows the man into the café.</p><p>The café is nice and smells of coffee but Ichigo's too busy watching Taiga move to pay the place any more mind. The two sit at a table near the window and order. The teen is not much for coffee so drops the name of what Cherī told him to order. She said that it's sweet but still a touch bitter.</p><p>“You never did answer me.” Taiga looks at him. The slit on his eyebrow is because of a scar and hair refuses to grow there.</p><p>“What did you ask me?” He tries playing it cool, trying not to embarrass himself in front of this man who is obviously out of his league.</p><p>“How long will you be staying here?”</p><p>“Three weeks. That's the plan, at least.”</p><p>Taiga hums, but it comes out more like a purr. “And how long have you been here?”</p><p>“Just a week. We arrived on the 28th.”</p><p>“Pity. You won’t be here for much longer then.” He thanks the waitress and sips his cappuccino.</p><p>“You never know. A lot can happen in two weeks.” Ichigo tries to play coy, like how the female characters of Yuzu's dramas do when they flirt. Not that he’s trying to flirt. He's just making conversation.</p><p>The brunette raises a brow, intrigued. “<em>Oh?</em>” His voice seemed to drop a bit, and Ichigo feels a touch too warm. “And what can happen in two weeks, Aizen-san?”</p><p>This... is something he's never done before and Ichigo is unsure how to proceed or even if he <em>wants</em> to proceed. All he knows is that he is a 17-year-old with a fake ID in a town that is not Karakura, talking to a man a decade older than him that makes him feel hot all over. The guy also appears to have very kissable lips and Ichigo wants to see if that is true.</p><p>So, the teen gathers up all of his courage, flutters his lashes and says, “Well, I wouldn’t mind getting to know you better, Hino-san. I’d like to leave with some good summer memories and would deeply appreciate it if you would help with that.” For extra effect, he lightly traces the man's calf with his foot.</p><p>Taiga’s eyes darken, causing the bluenette to shiver. “How could I possibly refuse such a request. Have you ever been to <strong><em>Starfish</em></strong>? It's a restaurant near the coast with a fantastic view of the sunset.”</p><p>“No, I don’t believe I have.” He and Cherī have been sticking to three family-owned restaurants with great seafood dishes.</p><p>“How about I take you there sometime? Let's say, Wednesday at 8?”</p><p>Ichigo blushes. Like the coy adult that he is pretending to be, he answers, “Sure. Can't wait.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He is in over his head. There's no doubt about it.</p><p>Cherī watches Ichigo pace all over the room, obviously trying to wear a hole into the carpet. It might be best if they went out for a run. That’s the best way to get rid of the bluenette’s excessive energy, right?</p><p>“Let's go fer a run.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“I’m in over my head, Cherī.” He tells her, voice slightly high and thin. Hysterical.</p><p>Cherī, like the good friend she is, keeps a level head while trying to keep up with the teen who has decided that the run is the perfect opportunity to run away from his problems. “What makes ya say that?”</p><p>“I have a date. With Taiga. This Wednesday.”</p><p>“Congratulation. What's da problem? Ya don’t wanna go out wit' ‘im? ‘Cuz if that’s da case just cancel it.”</p><p>“No – that's not – I –!” He abruptly stops and Cherī silently thanks him. Taking a deep breath, then another since he didn’t pace himself, the teen admits, “The date is not the problem.”</p><p>“Then what is?”</p><p>He flushes, looking away. Cherī will have none of that.</p><p>“Ichigo, it's me. Ah won’t judge ya.”</p><p>He nods. “I’ve–... never been on a date before. Not like this one!”</p><p>“What’s so special about this one?” She keeps her tone even. Like a doctor talking with their patient.</p><p>“There's... There's the promise of something more happening. And I'm not sure if I'm prepared for that something more.”</p><p>“If something more happens an' ya feel uncomfortable or are not ready yet then ya tell ‘im ‘no’. If he doesn’t listen, then ya make ‘im listen.” Her tone is cold.</p><p>He nods, still somewhat flushed. “I know that. I want to try that something more.” He rubs his neck. “What I mean is I’m just not sure what and how that will happen.”</p><p>The pinkette's eyes narrow before widening. “<em>Oh! </em>That!”</p><p>Looking away, he says, “Yes. <em>That</em>.”</p><p>The girl pats him on the chest. “Don’t worry. Ah know exactly what ta' do.”</p><p>He looks back, eyes shining in surprise and hope, cheeks red in embarrassment. “You do?”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>What Cherī does is call her parents.</p><p>Her parents who are happy to educate Ichigo on anal sex.</p><p>He learns a lot that day. He also learns that Haru and Nagi are into pegging.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>During his sex (and kinks and fetishes) talk, Cherī had exited the house to gather supplies. When she comes back, she places three bags on the kitchen table. One of them is filled with shampoos, soaps, and pads. The second is filled with food. The third one is from a drugstore and is filled with three boxes of tablets that he knows his sisters use when they have cramps, two boxes of condoms and two bottles of lube – one scentless and one cherry flavoured. He lightly slaps her arm.</p><p>“Why two boxes?” He gestures to the condoms.</p><p>She shrugs. “Wasn’t sure what yer size is so Ah got ‘Snug' an' ‘Standard’.”</p><p>“What? You think I'm that small?” He tries to joke, ignoring the feeling of nervousness rolling in his gut.</p><p>She frowns at him. “While Ah appreciate that yer tryin' ta’ hide behind humour, Ah think we need ta' be somewhat serious ‘ere.”</p><p>Ichigo raises a brow, gesturing to the cherry flavoured lube. <strong><em>Popp'n Cherry</em></strong> is written on it.</p><p>She shrugs again. “Fair.” Her expression softens. “Ichi, no one’s forcin’ ya ta' have sex. It's okay ta’ be nervous. Ev'ryone is.”</p><p>“I know, it’s just–” He groans into his hands, sitting down. “I want it. I want to do it. I’m just unprepared!”</p><p>“Ah know,” She places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “An’ that's okay. It's yer first time.”</p><p>“Yeah, but what if I can’t satisfy him? What if I'm awkward? God, I just know that I'll do something wrong!”</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey, look at me.” She cups his face and turns him to face her. “Ya think ev'ryone's a natural in sex? That's bullshit! Ah have it on good authority that ma an' pa's first time was awkward but amusin' fer them.”</p><p>His brows furrow. “Why do you know what your parents first time was like?”</p><p>“Ah asked ‘em. Ah was curious ‘bout sex an' they told me ‘bout their first time. If ya haven’t noticed, Ah have a very healthy an' open communication system wit' ma' parents. We talk ‘bout almost ev'rythin’ an’ try ta' understand each other.”</p><p>Ichigo can’t imagine having such a healthy relationship with goat-face. He actually can’t imagine having such a healthy relationship with any parental figure, and isn’t that sad?</p><p>He mentally shakes his head. “So their first time was awkward?”</p><p>“Yeah. Want me ta' call ‘em again?”</p><p>Ichigo thinks that normally this would a very uncomfortable talk, but given the fact that not even thirty minutes ago they were explaining how to properly stretch and that wasn’t as awkward as he thought it would be, then neither would this talk be.</p><p>He sighs, though a little less worried. “I would appreciate it.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Tuesday, they go shopping.</p><p>Unfortunately, everything looks the same.</p><p>“Jesus Christ, what’s up with this shitty variety? Maybe you should wear clothes marketed for women, at least there you have more choice than three pairs of pants that look virtually the same.” Grumbles Cherī, flipping through the clothes rackets.</p><p>“I'm not ready for those, Cherī.” He sighs behind her, browsing through jeans. Are jeans appropriate for a first date? What about the restaurant? Is it high class?</p><p>Ichigo freezes.</p><p>“Cherī."</p><p>She hums.</p><p>“Cherī.”</p><p>She hums again.</p><p>
  <em>“Cherī.”</em>
</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I don’t know the restaurant’s dress code.” He hisses.</p><p>There's a pause.</p><p>“It can’t be high class. This is a first date.”</p><p>“What if it is and he's trying to impress me? He's 28, Cherī!”</p><p>“...Well shit.”</p><p>Ichigo whines.</p><p>If someone were to tell him a year ago that he would be worrying this much over a simple date, he would have beat the person up and sent them to the psychiatric ward because there is no way Kurosaki Ichigo would ever think about dating when he has more important things to worry about.</p><p>But back then he could still see ghosts, still had old man Zangetsu and his hollow, hadn’t invaded Soul Society, hadn’t fought captains to save Rukia, hadn’t fought arrancars, hadn’t <strong>died</strong>, hadn’t fought in a fucking <strong>war</strong>, and wasn’t abandoned because of lack of power!</p><p>Ichigo pauses.</p><p>Was the only reason people even liked him because of his power? No, it couldn’t be. But then why haven’t his shinigami and human friends talked to him in half a year? Why does Geta-bōshi usher him out of his shop as quickly as possible anytime he would visit prior to meeting Cherī? Was he nothing more than a fucking <em><strong>weapon</strong></em> to them?</p><p>“Okay, don’t panic.” Cherī voice is a welcoming distraction from the anger that is starting to bubble inside of him. “Do you know where he's taking you? If it’s a local place we can ask about its dress code.”</p><p>“<em><strong>Starfish</strong></em>. It's near the coast.”</p><p>“Got it. Come on, let’s ask the nice lady over there.” She nodded to the saleswoman.</p><p>The woman was quite helpful, especially when she learned that it was for his date. They end up picking a white dress shirt, black jeans that Cherī says work great to bring out his ass, and an emerald vest. They also pick out a few other shirts and pants because his wardrobe is seriously lacking. He doesn’t remember it being this bad but worrying about what to wear for a date made him realise it is.</p><p>And it can’t be a complete shopping trip without Cherī also buying something. She manages to find a romper with colours that make his eyes hurt, some pretty nice shorts, a few crop tops – some of which look too big for her but around his size given the fact that she lays them on his chest for comparison – and two dresses.</p><p>They then go to a shoe shop and she manages to talk him into letting her buy him red strapped heels with bows at the back. He feels damn sexy wearing them. Cherī is certain that they can go along with some of his clothes. Maybe a black suit.</p><p>That image is for another time.</p><p>The lingerie that Cherī may or may not have mentioned he would look good in is also for another time.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>This is it.</p><p>It’s currently 7:30 pm and it feels as though his heart is trying to burst out of his chest.</p><p>“Would ya like ta' leave now?” Cherī asks. He wants to say that it’s too early and they will arrive at the restaurant in less than ten minutes, but the anxiety he feels will not let him so he gratefully agrees.</p><p>Cherī makes sure to drive slower than she usually would and takes the long way to the restaurant.</p><p>They arrive at 7:47 pm and he has not calmed down an ounce, instead doing the opposite.</p><p>The girl turns to him, “Okay, deep breaths.” She coaches him through breathing exercises that he already knows while holding his hand. “Da date will be good, so don’t worry. Ya have money, rite?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He pats his wallet that is fuller than it normally would be.</p><p>“An' ya have yer phone? Keys? Pepper spray? Knuckle duster? Knife?”</p><p>“Yes to all of those things.” She made him take them just in case things went south. It’s never wrong to be prepared.</p><p>“ID?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Then go out there an’ knock his socks off!”</p><p>Ichigo laughs and slides out of the car.</p><p>It’s 7:54 pm.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first few minutes are awkward for him but then Taiga asks him about what books and movies he likes and his attention switches to making sure that he doesn’t knock something off with his wild gestures.</p><p>It turns out that Taiga also enjoys Studio Ghibli films, his favourite being <em><strong>Grave of the Fireflies </strong></em>and<em><strong> Castle in the Sky.</strong></em> He also likes the Harry Potter books and is excited for when he will be able to buy the fifth book in the series and finds the movies lacking.</p><p>“You can’t just convert a book into a movie and expect it to be less than 90 min without losing/cutting off some scenes.”</p><p>Unfortunately, the bluenette is unable to contribute to the topic but is more than happy to listen to his date's summary and rant about the series.</p><p>The topic briefly changes to family and both share a bit about their siblings.</p><p>“I have a brother three years younger than me, and let me tell you, he's a real piece of work. Bastard’s always getting into trouble and I have to save his ass.” His tone is of annoyance but the fond smile tells another story.</p><p>“I have two sisters several years younger than me. Yuzu is a sweetheart and amazing in the kitchen and I'm pretty sure she wants to pursue culinary school, while Karin is hot-headed and impressive when it comes to soccer. I'm not sure what she wants to pursue but there's more than enough time for her to choose.” The teen says with pride.</p><p>Taiga chuckles, “You love them quite a bit, don’t you?”</p><p>He laughs, “Yeah. I practically raised them.”</p><p>He receives a soft smile that makes him blush, the heat that he usually feels replaced with a fluttering sensation in his chest.</p><p>They then switch to pets (Taiga has a cat that he swears is from hell named Tora), to jobs (it turns out that the guy is a pet shop owner), to hobbies (the brunette enjoys doing puzzles).</p><p>Before they know it, it's already past 10 and nearing 11.</p><p>After a brief argument about who will pay the bill (“You can pay for the second date.” Ichigo's brain shuts down for the few seconds that Taiga needs to pay) the two leave.</p><p>It is as Taiga is driving Ichigo home that the teen begins to overthink things. Mainly how he will invite the older man back to his room for some private time with the possibility of the man staying the night without coming off as too strong and/or desperate.</p><p>“We’re here.” The older announces.</p><p>Neither moves. Ichigo because he is still overthinking. Taiga because this is his car.</p><p>Just as things are starting to get weird (Ichigo has been in the car for more than 3 min), Taiga coughs. “So,” He drawls out the word. “Do you plan on exiting my car or should I just bring you home with me?” He says in a joking manner but the younger still jumps.</p><p>“Right!,” Ichigo says too loudly. “Sorry! Getting out now.” He doesn’t move.</p><p>“...I'm guessing you don’t want the night to end?” Taiga smiles. Ichigo is starting to get annoyed with the whole blushing thing that he has going on whenever the older man smiles.</p><p>“No – Yes! – I mean – !” He covers his face, groaning.</p><p>Taiga pats him on the back. “Take your time. We have all night.”</p><p>The teen lifts his face, his signature scowl in place as he faces his date. It's time for him to be honest. “I enjoyed it. Our date and the conversation we had. I really enjoyed my evening with you and I kinda want to kiss you but I don’t want to come off as too strong.”</p><p>Taiga listens to him and smiles, his brown eyes glinting teasingly. “I also enjoyed my night with you and wouldn’t be opposed to being kissed as long as you also want it.”</p><p>Ichigo flushes. He inches closer to the man. “In that case, may I kiss you?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Taiga’s face moves closer to Ichigo's, angling so that their noses wouldn’t knock. The bluenette closes his eyes and tries to relax.</p><p>The kiss starts innocent, the brunette pressing his lips to Ichigo's. He then caresses the teen's cheek and Ichigo melts. From there the man sucks and nibbles on the lower lip causing the younger to gasp and using the opportunity to deepen the kiss.</p><p>Unsure if he needs to do something with his hands, Ichigo places one on Taiga's chest, gripping onto the jacket the man has as though to stop him from disappearing.</p><p>Soon Taiga breaks the kiss and leans back. Ichigo follows him because why would he need air when he can be busy kissing the man in front of him. The brunette leans back in for a more chaste kiss that lasts two seconds.</p><p>“How was that for a kiss?”</p><p>The teen opens his eyes, a smile on his lips. “Not sure. Might need another one to give accurate results.” He feels Taiga laugh against his lips before he is granted the desired second kiss.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kurosaki Ichigo can accurately say that this is the greatest date yet and can't wait for the second one.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sunday morning greets Ichigo with the amazing sight of Hino Taiga sleeping next to him with his mouth open.</p><p>It must be known that they <strong>didn’t</strong> have sex. Their second date ended up with the two going to the brunette's place so that Ichigo could see the cat (and the kittens! Taiga swore when he saw them. Apparently, he didn’t know that his hellspawn had reproduced), proceeded with the two starting a new puzzle, then watching a movie, and before they knew it was already past two.</p><p>Taiga had offered to drive him home, but Ichigo refused since it was late and the man was tired enough as it was, and Taiga refuse to let Ichigo walk home in the dark. They were tired enough that when the idea of him sleeping over was brought up, neither refused and somehow managed to successfully stumble their way out of their clothes and into the bed.</p><p>It could be said that they're moving too fast, but they haven’t done anything other than kiss (and Ichigo still doesn’t understand why he needs to breathe when he can be kissing Taiga) so no harm done.</p><p>Gently, Ichigo manages to untangle himself from the sheets. It takes longer to remove Taiga's arm that is draped over his waist since it's a really nice and warm weight. Once he has successfully gotten out of bed, he starts to gather and put on his clothes from the day before. Just as he is about to put his pants on his eyes catch the purple short-sleeve shirt that Taiga wore. Before he knows it, it’s in his hand and he is considering putting it on.</p><p>Would that be too forward? That's the “Boyfriend shirt” stage and they haven’t reached it yet. Would Taiga mind? Would he be creeped out?</p><p>The bluenette bites his lip. He has no problem when Cherī wears his shirts in the morning since she is a clothes and bed communist but they've known each other for... Holy shit, he's known Cherī for barely five months and has no problem with her wearing his clothes nor sleeping in the same bed with him! How did that happen?</p><p><em>Ah</em>, he thinks as he puts on the purple shirt, <em>It's Cherī</em>.</p><p>Smiling, he makes his way to the kitchen wondering what dishes he could make.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He is carefully flipping the omelette when strong arms wind around his waist and a face nuzzles his neck. The bluenette has long given up on controlling his blushing and – by Cherī's suggestion – has chosen to embrace it.</p><p>“Hmm, something smells good.” Taiga's voice is rough and low enough that it is only heard thanks to the close proximity to Ichigo's ear. It reminds him of his friend who needs a few minutes after waking up to regain her voice. She always jokes that her vocal cords were still asleep. The truth is her throat is parched.</p><p>“It’s a simple omelette. Hope you don’t mind me looking through your fridge.” He places the food on the waiting plate and starts on the second one.</p><p>“Don’t mind.” The mumble is turned into a yawn that Taiga politely turns away to do. The hands on the teen's waist lower themselves to the shirt's hem, playing with it. “That’s a nice shirt you’ve got there.” He kisses Ichigo's neck and the teen finds out that the feeling is a lot more ticklish than erotic. He feels betrayed by the TV shows.</p><p>The brunette laughs when he feels the younger squirm. “Ticklish?”</p><p>“Yeah?” He answers warily, half-expecting to be tickled.</p><p>Taiga hums and moves to kissing his shoulder which also feels weird but not ticklish weird. Maybe it’s because he's not used to it? If that’s the case then he should train the feeling out with Taiga's help.</p><p>“Breakfast is ready.” He says just as Taiga is starting to rub his sides, hands wandering lower and lower to the shirt's edge before rising again.</p><p>He should have taken the paper mints that Cherī had offered him.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ichigo stares at the kitten.</p><p>The kitten stares back.</p><p>They've been like that for nearly a minute. Ichigo thinks he read somewhere that cats didn’t like being looked at but this one certainly isn’t shying away from his gaze, so either he read wrong or the cat is different.</p><p>He blinks.</p><p>The kitten moves towards him and nestles in his crossed legs.</p><p>Like any decent human being, he starts petting them. They show their pleasure by purring.</p><p>“They seem to like you.” Taiga says from where he is trying to bribe the other three kittens into letting him pet them.</p><p>“I guess they do.” He says.</p><p>The kitten looks like any other brown cat. Any other brown stray cat. They are brown. Have a white chest. And there are faint darker brown straps where it is lighter. Since it’s still young, the fur is still fluffy and soft. They twist to lay on their back and blink blue eyes up at the bluenette.</p><p>Ichigo has a strong desire to take them home and cuddle them.</p><p>“What do you plan on doing with the kittens?” He doesn’t look up, too busy basking in the holy presence of the kitten that is pawing his fingers.</p><p>“Give them away.” Taiga says. He has given up on the others and has moved closer to the bluenette. “As much as I like cats, having five running around will cost too much.”</p><p>“I can keep this one.” The teen looks at him, then flushes and looks down. “I mean, if you don’t already have someone in mind.”</p><p>Taiga knocks their shoulders. “I literally found out about their existence yesterday. If you’re willing, you can have them.” He tries to pet them but they attack him with their tiny claws and teeth. “Yeah,” He pulls his hand back with a hiss, “They definitely like you more than me.”</p><p>Ichigo laughs, pulling the kitten closer to his chest.</p><p>Taiga lays his head on the teen's shoulder. He has a fond look on his face as he watches the two.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“What should I name them?” Ichigo holds up the kitten. He's laying on the couch, staring at the kitten that fits in his hand.</p><p>Cherī examines the kitten. She then lightly pets it with a finger. “Dunno. It's yer cat.”</p><p>He frowns, placing the kitten on his chest when they grow restless from being held. “I’m bad with names.”</p><p>“Then name it a familiar one.”</p><p>“Which one?” The kitten turns and happily shows the teens that they are a boy.</p><p>The pinkette hums, laying her head next to his on the couch pillow, body kneeling on the ground. “Ya can’t think of any names, Aizen? It can be one that needs newer, happier memories.”</p><p>Ichigo stares at the kitten, turning over Cherī's suggestion in his head. He sits up, the kitten sandwiched between his chest and cupped hands. It’s so small, all skin and bones and fat belly.</p><p>“Sōsuke,” He tries, whispering the name.</p><p>“Sōsuke,” He says a bit louder. The kitten meows, tiny claws catching on the fabric of his shirt, looking up.</p><p>“<em>Oh, Sōsuke,</em>” He breaths out, in the tone one would use to refer to their child when they first hold them – one part awe, one part breathlessness, one part adoration.</p><p>Sōsuke tries to climb up and Ichigo makes sure that he has a sure hold on him in case he loses grip and falls.</p><p>“That’s a lovely name.” Cherī murmurs.</p><p>“It is,” It’s so easy to agree, shoulder curling from where whisper-soft fur brushes his neck. He's already halfway in love with this tiny creature that fits in the palm of his hand so of course any name that is bestowed upon them he will also love.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>On Wednesday evening, as he is cuddled up against Taiga watching a movie, Ichigo comes to a realisation.</p><p><em>Oh</em>, he thinks as he watches the main character caress their partner's cheek, <em>I'm in love.</em></p><p>Taiga's arm is warm from where it lays around his shoulders, bringing him closer to his equally warm body. Shoko, Sōsuke's only sister, is purring away in his lap. Hinata and Kyoya are in Taiga's lap, finally calm after chasing each other around for the last 10 min. The mother is enjoying her well deserved rest in her bed.</p><p><em>I want to stay like this forever,</em> he thinks to himself. It’s nice, this domestic bubble that he is in. The teen glances at his date, specifically his neck.<em> I want more,</em> with that thought in mind, he places a barely-there kiss on the neck. Then another one. Then another one. Then another-</p><p>Taiga turns and the kiss lands on his lips. It isn’t slotted correctly but he makes sure to correct that as he deepens the kiss. When they separate, Ichigo is breathless but the brunette is annoyingly unruffled.</p><p>“Movie too boring for you, love?” He asks, an amused smile on his face.</p><p><em>Love</em> </p><p>He really shouldn’t be falling in love, not when he will be leaving in less than five days, but he's been doing a lot of shouldn’t's for the last few years so what's one more?</p><p>“Taiga,” He breaths out, unsure how to express what he wants but still powering through with heated kisses. He whimpers when his lip is bitten, then gasps when he is manoeuvred into straddling the older man. He breaks away to check where the kittens are, worried that he will harm them. They are on the other side of the couch, Kyoya is trying to get his sister to play with him.</p><p>Ichigo gasps.</p><p>“Eyes on me, love.” Taiga says against his neck, biting and soothing the flesh with tongue.</p><p>“Taiga, ” He moans out. His pants are uncomfortable. He should have gotten that skirt he saw yesterday at the store.</p><p>“Ichigo,” The older grinds up, pulling the bluenette down at the same time.</p><p>“Taiga, <em>please!”</em> He cries out.</p><p>“What do you want, love? Tell me.” His neck will be all red and purple tomorrow, he just knows it, but Taiga's mouth is too nice for him to stop it.</p><p>“Bed,” He manages to choke out as the older starts to knead his thighs and ass.</p><p>Taiga stops and Ichigo wants to yell.</p><p>“Ichigo, are you sure?” He asks, looking him in the eyes.</p><p>The teen is still somewhat breathless, pupils blown, but manages to nod, “Yeah, ” He swallows, “I’m sure.”</p><p>“Alright. Tell me if something is too much or doesn’t feel good.”</p><p>“’Kay.”</p><p>The two kiss again. Ichigo tangles his fingers in the brunette's hair as he continues to knead his flesh. At one point, once he has gotten a good grip, Taiga lifts the teen, causing him to gasp.</p><p>“You-You’re strong.” Ichigo watches as they leave the living room and enter the bedroom. He is carefully placed on the bed and arms are place on either side, caging him.</p><p>“Still sure?” Taiga asks and it’s unfair how attractive he looks.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>He smirks, “Alright then.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>At least the TV shows didn’t lie about how amazing sex is.</p><p>He should also buy Haru and Nagi some nicer souvenirs.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Cherī,” Ichigo says. “I’m in love.”</p><p>The girl looks up from her book. She doesn’t look surprised at all, only fond as she smiles and says, “That’s wonderful. Congratulations.”</p><p>“Cherī, I'm in love.” He repeats, then adds, “And I want to stay here.”</p><p>She has a thoughtful look on before saying, “We can’t stay ‘ere fer longer since we’re only rentin' fer 3 weeks, but Ah'm sure we can find another place ta' stay fer da rest of summer.”</p><p>“Cherī, I'm in love.” He says for the third time. “And I want to remain Aizen Ichigo, not Kurosaki Ichigo.”</p><p>Understanding dawns on her. She is silent and he is worried. Finally, she smiles lovingly at him. “Okay.” She says. “We can fake some more in-depth documents, birth certificate an' such, da Bachelor will need more work but we can probably speed teach ya wit' some doctors. Find ya an apartment ‘ere, sign ya up fer online classes. All ya need ta' do is give us some DNA fer da death of Kurosaki Ichigo.”</p><p>They stare at each other.</p><p>His lips tremble. “Cherī,” He says, choked up, “I’m in love, and you are an amazing friend. Thank you.”</p><p>Cherī smiles, all love and fondness, “Any time, Ichi.” She moves to sit next to him, shoulders pressing against each other. “Just say da word an' Ah'll make everythin' happen.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>He doesn’t say the word. He doesn’t say anything.</p><p>He spends Saturday night lovesick with Taiga. They go to the same restaurant as their first date, then have a walk on the beach where he runs and laughs and Taiga laughs, eyes bright and hair tousled by the wind and Ichigo's fingers, and Ichigo falls even more in love than before and imagines a future that will not happen. They then spend the night together.</p><p>Sunday he spends with Cherī. They go shopping and she helps him pick a plum wine that is sweet enough for her parents' tastes and one for themselves. He finally gets a skirt, then another five because one cannot simply live with just one skirt, and gets another two pairs of heels. They wander the beach at sunset, have dinner, then wander again until they reach the rocks where they share the bottle of wine. They manage to sway their way home in the wee hours of the morning.</p><p>Monday morning, after checking that they have gotten everything and have cleaned up after themselves, the two take one last photo in front of the house, the rising sun in front of their eyes and burning them.</p><p>“Are ya ready?” Cherī asks, hand poised to start the car.</p><p>Ichigo looks back and thinks.</p><p>If this were a movie, Taiga would appear, confess that he loves him and would ask him to stay. Ichigo would tear up, say that the feelings are mutual, and stay. The two would build a life together, possibly get a bigger apartment where they will live out their lives with their five – or more – cats. Taiga would propose to him on the beach at sunset a few years down the line and they will have a small wedding – only family and friends.</p><p>If this were a TV drama, it would start the same way as the movie's ending, but the following season old characters would appear asking him to come back and fight. He would have to choose between fighting and Taiga which would lead to many misunderstandings and miscommunication between them. Ultimately, he will choose his love for the brunette as more important only to find that the older man had started training so that he could also fight and protect his back. It will end in either one of the two dying or both living but with scars.</p><p>But none of those things will happen for this is real life.</p><p>Ichigo couldn’t just stay, not when he has commitments back in Karakura.</p><p>“Yeah,” He says, the feeling of regret already settling in his gut. “Let's go.”</p><p>“Okay.” Cherī says and starts the car.</p><p>The bluenette looks at the passing streets. It’s still early enough for most people to still be in bed.</p><p>“Y’know,” She starts, eyes not even flickering to him. “There’s nothin’ wrong wit' wantin’ things that ya can’t have. It’s that unachievable desire that makes us human.”</p><p>“...But what if what I want means leaving everything I have known and loved behind? Would it even be worth it?”</p><p>She shrugs, “Ah can’t answer that. Yer the only one that can. But,” She stops for a moment to think. “If da choice forces ya ta' think real hard, then it must be worth it.”</p><p>The silence settles between them. The sun is rising,<em> “Come back, sweetheart.”</em> It seems to tell Ichigo, <em>“Come back and be happy. Come back and be in love.”</em> Ichigo doesn’t like the sun at this moment. Sōsuke meows, tiny claws kneading his knees. He tries to get him to knead the parts that are covered by the shorts, but the creature is stubborn and doesn’t want to.</p><p>“Cherī,”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“...Thank you for bringing me here. I really appreciate it.”</p><p>“Any time. Who knows, maybe we'll come again next year an' ya will be able ta' get yer heart back. Or stay ‘ere.”</p><p>The regret turns into excitement. “You think so? That’s a whole year, Cherī. A lot of things can change.”</p><p>“If they change – they change. Who are we ta' control da way time passes an' people live their lives? At least ya got a cat out of all of this.”</p><p>He laughs, “Exchanging my heart for a cat. Pretty nice deal if you ask me.”</p><p>She laughs as well. “It is.” Her blue eyes meet his, all soft and gentle. “An’ from what Ah can see, it seems that Sōsuke stole yer heart back.”</p><p>Looking down at the tiny being that is teething on his shorts' hem, he says, “I think he did.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They are welcomed home with hugs and kisses. Haru and Nagi coo when they are introduced to Sōsuke who is at first scared by these new people but warms up soon enough. They talk about their little adventure during dinner and afterwards show the photos that were taken, glasses filled with sweet wine.</p><p>“How did your date go?” Nagi asks Ichigo.</p><p>The teen flushes, “It went really well.”</p><p>The couple smiles, “That’s good to hear.”</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ichigo finds himself sitting on one of the chairs on the veranda at the Akao household with Sōsuke in his lap. It’s late but sleep doesn’t come. Sōsuke, on the other hand, is snoozing away in dreamland.</p><p>He is startled by a voice. “You know, there's nothing wrong with falling in love.”</p><p>“What makes you think I'm in love?” He looks back to see Nagi. She's holding two mugs.</p><p>“You have that look in your eye that says that you are.” She places the one with a little tiger in front of him and sips her own.</p><p>“Is it that obvious?” He doesn’t try to deny it, not when there’s nothing to deny. He just sips his drink which turns out to be hot chocolate.</p><p>The woman hums. “For some. If you know what the look of being in love is like.”</p><p>“Do you think I did the right thing? Not staying there with Taiga and instead coming back?”</p><p>“Does it feel like you did the right thing?” He shoots her a look. “I'm not trying to be cryptic. It's a genuine question that only you can answer.”</p><p>He slumps back, covering his face with his hands. “I don’t know. It feels like I should have just accepted Cherī's offer of making Kurosaki Ichigo disappear and making Aizen Ichigo real. But then I would have regretted doing that.”</p><p>“Would you though?” He peeks at her. “Would you have really regretted leaving Karakura and nearly everyone here if it meant being with the one you love?”</p><p>“Taiga doesn’t love me.”</p><p>“Are you sure about that, or just saying it because he never told you that he did? Did you tell him that you love him?”</p><p>“No, of course not. We had known each other for barely two weeks. There's no way anyone can fall in love in that amount of time.”</p><p>“And yet you did.” Nagi says, face and tone neutral. “It only took two weeks for you to fall for him and consider staying with him. So what on Earth makes you think that the feelings aren't mutual?”</p><p>Ichigo stays silent.</p><p>“You know, I used to be in love with someone else before meeting Haru.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah. I was so in love with them that I imagined a whole future with them.”</p><p>He thinks about his imagined future. “What was that future like?”</p><p>“The two of us travelling the world, going from place to place, meeting new people, trying new and exciting activities, trying new and tasty foods.”</p><p>“That sounds nice.”</p><p>“It does, doesn’t it? But that was the future<em> I </em>imagined.”</p><p>“What happened?” He sits up.</p><p>“The future they imagined was different from mine. What they wanted was to settle down and have a family.”</p><p>“You didn’t want that?”</p><p>“No, not in the way that you may think. I just couldn’t imagine making such a step with them. It's not that they were irresponsible or anything. I just couldn’t see myself settling down with them.”</p><p>“What happened then?” The answer was obvious, but he still wanted to hear it.</p><p>“We broke up. I’m not going to lie and say that it was a clean break up. There were a lot of tears, screams and thrown things, but it was for the best.”</p><p>He stares up at the sky. At the moon.</p><p>“Do you regret it? Breaking up?”</p><p>“No, but I did feel awful the days and weeks following. We were together for nearly five years. You don’t forget feelings like that overnight. But it was for the best.”</p><p>“What about Haru? Did you imagine having a future with him?”</p><p>“I did.” She smiles, all giddy and happy. “It was within the first six months of knowing him that I imagined creating a family with him.”</p><p>“Six months, huh?” His time was much shorter.</p><p>“Yes. Much quicker than the three years it took with the previous one.”</p><p>“Three years? Wow.”</p><p>“Hah, yeah.” She looks up at the sky as well. “Do you want to know my reaction upon meeting Haru?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“When we first meet, he told a pun so awful that I kissed him just so that he couldn’t speak.”</p><p>He looks at her in surprise. “Really? It was that awful?”</p><p>“Yes, and I’m happy that he said it, otherwise, I wouldn’t have started dating him.”</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>Someone’s dog is barking in the distance and a car passes by.</p><p>“Not everyone falls in love the same way. And not everyone falls in love at the same time. You could have met someone only three times and yet still imagine a future with them. You could have known someone for nearly your entire life, have dated them for half of it and still not see a future with them. Love is a strange and fickle thing that comes out of the left field, causes you to have sleepless nights and feel awkward then has the nerve to leave as though it has grown bored.” She tells him, pulling out a cigarette box from the cardigan's pocket. “And we humans are crazy enough to love it and desire more of it.”</p><p>“I think–” He thinks what exactly? “I think I'll return to Taiga next year. After I finish high school.” He looks at her, half expecting her to disapprove.</p><p>She nods. “And what about the cover story? You guys said you had a bachelor’s degree of Medicine. Do you plan to pursue that?”</p><p>Ichigo exhales. That would be a problem. “I don’t know. Maybe I can try something else?”</p><p>“Whatever you want, Ichigo.” Nagi pets Sōsuke. The kitten occasionally twitches in his sleep. Must be dreaming of playing. “I want you to come work for me.” She says, finally lighting a cigarette.</p><p>“What?” He waves away the offered box.</p><p>She exhales the smoke, “Come work for me. My secretary wants an assistant and the pay is good.”</p><p>
  <em>"Why?”</em>
</p><p>“I just told you.”</p><p>“Yeah – no – I mean, why me? If your secretary wants an assistant, why not hire someone with experience?”</p><p>“Because, you’re family.” She says it as though it should explain everything, but Ichigo is not sure whether he is ready for that.</p><p>“I'm not-“</p><p>“You are,” She interrupts, and there is something in her tone that makes it sound like a fact. “Ichigo, you became family the moment my sister picked you up from the street and took you in. The moment she chose to teach you how to debone a carcass, how to harvest organs, how to cut meat. The moment she chose to show and teach you those things was the moment you became part of our family. Noriko could have easily made you work at one of her mother’s restaurants as a cleaner, but she didn’t.”</p><p>They are silent and he jumps when Nagi places a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Like it or not, you are family to us and we care about you, Ichigo.” She smiles at him. “Now come work for my firm. And who knows, maybe you'll like it and become a secretary in the future.” They share a chuckle. “Plus, it will give you something to do and earn money. You can never go wrong with having a view extra bills stashed away. It will help with the apartment payment and rent that will appear next year when you move.”</p><p>He rubs his neck. “I guess you're right.”</p><p>The two stay a bit longer, enjoying the evening breeze, before making their way inside.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>It's the final week of summer vacation when Ichigo has an unexpected meeting with someone from his past.</p><p>“You’ve been gone for a while, Kurosaki-kun.” Urahara says, still wearing that stupid bucket hat and dark green haori.</p><p>“I've noticed.” He says and continues walking. He had just been in a convenience store and has three tubs of ice cream that will melt if he doesn’t return <strike>(home)</strike> to the Akao household. Unfortunately, Urahara follows him and continues to talk.</p><p>“We were worried.” He says. “Your sisters were worried.”</p><p>“But not worried enough to call me?”</p><p>“We were unaware of what your state was.” Ichigo imagines him lowering that hat of his to hide his eyes.</p><p>“That doesn’t sound like a reason to not call me. Did you notify the police for my absence?”</p><p>“Why didn’t you call?” He asks, completely ignoring the bluenette's questions.</p><p>“I forgot.” And he did forget, several times.</p><p>“You forgot to call your worried sick sisters? That doesn’t sound like you, Kurosaki-kun.”</p><p>“I’m surprised you know what kind of person I am given that we haven’t seen nor spoken to each other for a while. Since I lost my powers fighting <strong>your</strong> war if I remember correctly.”</p><p>“It was the only way.”</p><p>“Really? I could think of several different ways that that could have gone. Starting with the captains taking Aizen as a threat more seriously, them training themselves and their squads harder, and possibly launching a surprise attack. But what do I – a simple human teenager – know about war compared to beings who are at least twenty times my age who have lived and bled and fought in war?”</p><p>Geta clad feet stop. Ichigo stops a few steps later. He shouldn’t stop, but he needs – <em>wants</em> to hear what his old mentor has to say.</p><p>“We had no other choice.”</p><p>“No, you did. You were just too lazy to find one when a far easier one was presented in front of you.”</p><p>“We're sorry.”</p><p>“Despite popular belief, saying ‘sorry’ does not fix things.”</p><p>“Ichigo–“</p><p>“Next time, don’t go looking for some kid that is in over their head and instead train, because that kid may not be as stupid as I was.”</p><p>He continues walking, leaving the man behind.</p>
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